Thank you, JL. I feel exactly the same way. This self-serving narcisist has basically used this public forum to blow his own untuned horn. When I come across the unruly, disrespectful, mentally challenged 'health-weight' kids in my son's school, I thank God for him. AND, when he's teased, his personality is BIG enough to tell his tormentors that "Hey, at least I can lose weight, but you'll always be dumb!" He came up with that all by himself, by the way. He's enormously popular, plays 'A' team cricket and is the joy of my life. He IS overweight, but not short on a healthy sense of self-esteem. He makes a POSITIVE impression on everyone he meets. So, perhaps, Mr Abrahams, you should be focussing on lining up and shooting parents who raise bratty, irritating, little buggers, who, no doubt will give both their parents and communities no end of head and heart aches!

I agree with you. When children are overweight, it is the parents fault. If children are fed healthy food, treats are limited (not banned completely as they learn nothing from that, and they do need pleasure in their lives) and the children excercise, they won't get fat. Doing enough excercise helps concentration levels immensely and helps children sleep better at night too. A bit of TV is a nice way to relax and unwind and I'm not a TV banner, but TV is part of relaxation and should only be watched by children who are phsyccally active. I once saw a mother with a child who looked about 4 months old in a trolley and she was feeding it an ice cream. If you are feeding your child sweets before they even know what they are and how to ask for them, then you are really just harming your child.

I make my family a healthy supper daily, almost no oil, usually fish or chicken with some potatoes or rice and vegetables. It literally takes me 30-45 minutes from when I get home to having food on the table. I also don't send my 2 and half year old to creche with sweets, chockies or chips as a snack. It is usually a fish finger or two, or a Marie Biscuit or two. Some parents however purchase large bulk amounts of sugary, salty and fatty foods on the cheap and spend 2 seconds packing lunch by just chucking in the crap, instead of waking up 20 minutes earlier and making an effort. Same point, coming home they just stop at the Kernals bucket or the golden arches and get a meal on the cheap. You are killing your kids, do yourself a fovour and watch a documentart called "Food Inc" it is an eye opener and even my wife and I stopped eating certain brands of food after seeing this. It all boils down to time and time management, and willingness to dedicate your life to the improvement of your childs health. Step up and be the parent

Well I am sorry to say that it is parents like you who raise those bullying type of children who tease bigger children. The fact that you refer to the 'fat kid" is terrible for an adult. I myself was an overweight child and an overweight adult and it is people like you that makes like difficult for people like me. I have never had a health problem related to obesity. No blood pressure or diabetes problems. Being obese does not mean you are unhealthy. Stop the biases and learn your children to embrace people of all sizes. Stop the damn prejuidice. It is just as bad as racism.

Agree 100%. I was fortunate to have grown up in a household of no sweeties and junk food, but always a full fruit bowl. And it has paid off, and those habits have carried me through into my 30s. There are so many lovely tasting 100% natural things you can make for your kids and yourselves. Try this... Peel some ripe bananas then put them in a tupperware in the freezer and they will keep for ages. Then when you feel like a delicious smoothie take out one or two of the frozen bananas, put them into a blender with a handful of almond nuts, some water and some honey, and blend. You will have an amazing tasting smoothie super charged with goodness, also add flax seeds and sunflower seeds if you want.

@ Liam WayneRooney Porter MUFC Not everyone likes a "team sport". If your daughter finds that she likes Ballroom and latin, encourage her to do it competitively...cause believe me...theres a reason its now called dancesport, and is recognised by the International Olympic committee... University of Freiburg study in 1986: exertion and breathing rates of dancesport athletes performing a single dance were the same as cyclists, swimmers and 800m runners over the same two minute period. University of Oxford 1988: level of fitness of championship dancesport competitors is the same as Olympic decathletes; a dancer performing a two minute Viennese Waltz experiences the same exertion level as that experienced by an Olympic 100m hurdler Peter Pover, former President US Dancesport Council: tests in Germany “found no significant athletic difference between running 800 metres and doing the quickstep for 1.5mins” Sports Illustrated 1995

Tune in to Talk With Mel tonight (31 March 2010) for her exclusive interview with Marlon Abrahams, the internet's Leading Single Dad on Parenting! Thanks for the support and comments, as always!

@Bella, while it is sad and lamentable that children are starving all over the world for various reasons, I hardly see how it is the responsibility of parents who work hard and make huge sacrifices, and indeed overcome poverty and the trappings of ghetto life, like the author himself has alluded to in previous columns, I hardly see how it is our responsibility to solve the world's poverty or hunger situation. Sure we have a moral duty to help where we can, but I don't agree that we should be ashamed or made to feel guilty for what we've achieved through hard work and self belief. I was poor and starving once, and it was that exact fear of not letting my kids end up in the same situation which drove me out of it, through hard work and self belief, two aspects that the author espouses most eloquently in his article. Help people to help themselves is the way to go, giving them pap and other handouts just makes them fat and lazy!

i enjoyed this article. i hv a 10 year old daughter who looks as though she is overweight. i try alot to get her involved in sports yet her mother wants her to do ballroom dancing, i mean reall now. She has become very lazy n her mother thinks that a walk in the evening is enough exercise. i disagree, i would refer her to be involved in an active sport such as hockey or netball, though i love it if she payed football. any ideas how i could get mom to help me encourage to be more active? great article mate well done

Well done! This article is so true yet some ppl refuse to own up. Kids live what they learn. My 5 yr old might be a lot of things but while he's screeching for carrots and strawberries I'm happy

I learned very quickly with my first born, when he would not eat huge amounts of food like I was forced or trianed to do as a youngster, that parents in the inital stages of life are responsible to teach the habit of 'not jsut eating because its there' and 'because its a socially acceptable mealtime'. Who said we must have breakfast, lunch and dinner?? I have since learning this some 18 years ago, fed the clan on demand only and snacks and fruit rather than the alternative of cramming tons of food into their tiny stomachs because the its the British way! Or some other cultural dictation.

Just remember that "Good Fats" are very important in early childhood development, especially for the brain! "The disparagement of dietary fat sometimes obscures the fact that children and adults need fat in their diets. It supplies essential fatty acids (EFA) and aids in the absorption of fat-soluble vitamins A, D, E and K. It is a substrate for the production of hormones and mediators. Fat, especially in infancy and early childhood, is essential for neurological development and brain function."

@Blade Runner. Can you read? Do you enjoy making an arse of yourself by exposing your issues in a public forum. What a wanker you are. And while you at it, what the hell happend to your sense of humour?

I agree - Just remember that you should manage fat intake. Without fat you wont get anywhere. Small amount of Saturated fat is there for the hormones. Monounsaturated (Mac oil and Olive oil) etc and most importantly your Omega3 oil. Not too much Omega 6 since our food is engineered and has way too much omega 6. Omega 6/ omega 3 ratio is supposed to be 1:1 or 1:2 but in most cases is 20-30:1. Meat people! Eat meat.

There are worse things to be than fat!! Like an awful person! My sister in law has always said, she would rather have her daughter be a bitch than overweight. Well Congratulations! She now has a 14 year old with a perfect size 32 figure, HUGE Body issues and absolutely no personality or social skills. I agree that over weight is unhealthy for our kids, but so is an unhealthy focus on the exterior package. Live right, eat right and be "healthy at any size"

Sometimes there is just nothing we can do about it. My son is 2 and is the most active boy you'll find but still the baby fat remains. He hates sweets and chocolates, and tolerates a little bit of chips, he's no fan of junk foods at all. He has half the food I dish for him on most days. The only thing he likes is juice and I give 100% fruit juice diluted with water. When he eats its veggies mostly as he doesn't like meat much. But still the boy is on the fat side. So what must I do? Crack my head? Hell no. Stop making us feel so guitly please. We have a lot on our plates as it is.

It's not about 'low-fat Woolies foods' Bella - it's about not so much oil when preparing foods, an apple, and banana etc. all of which can be bought on the side of the road. Great article Marlon!

Okay dude, so because the way you deal with your kids is successful with regards to their weight, those parents who are not as successful - despite all their efforts - should be lined up and shot? Yes, you must be the uber-guru on these things, and all should bow down to your superior knowledge. There can be no other factors apart from the ones involved with your case, those with which you have so successfully dealt. Well done to you, noddy badges all round. Your kids must be role models. I hope you write us another article when they turn out to be promiscuous, or drug addicts. Now go back and hide in your perfect hole.

I agree. My daugter is 1 year old and I am so afraid that she is going to be fat. I have been all my life and do not want that for her. I know it is(or maybe not) not such a big concern now. I do believe that we cannot eat something and not want them to eat the same. We should lead by example. GOOD ARTICLE. parents need to hear this

@ Scarlet: As the mother of a (although big-build) slightly overweight boy, I totally agree with you. I am strict with his diet AND he eats healthy (all fruit & veg) AND he is very active (cricket, rugby, surfing) but he still seems to pick up weight easier and quicker than his brother. I actually get frustrated when reading articles like this. Whilst I agree that there might be parents 'neglecting' their obese child's eating habits, there also are many of us that follow the 'right' way but still have a roundish child

Jeewizz !! you worry about "fat" children. Please take that time that you've spend writing this piece and try and get some food to those kids that do not have food. This is soooo bourgeois and all the replies are from those parents who can afford to buy all the Woollies fat free goodies for their kids. Some parents can only afford PAP.

It so true...we feed our kids. We also responsible for how they spend their free time. If we as parents enjoy healthy lifestyles, our kids will have healthy lifestyles as well. Keep them active, dont let them spend time just sitting infront of the tv, go out for walks, to the park. They will enjoy it so much. I know my kids do..over weekends they look forward to that time..and it keep me as a mother fit as well, mentally and physically...We have to teach our kids good habits, and break the cycle of bad ones.

The sad thing, though, is that there are children who are more prone to gaining weight than others. I speak from personal experience here. My sister and I are 3 years apart, and throughout our childhood, she was super skinny and I was the fat "chubby" one. How could this be? We ate (or were fed) the same food, and in fact, when we were in primary school and high school my sister ate at least twice as much as I did, (every 2 hours or so she would stomp to the kitchen and make peanut butter and syrup sandwiches, soup, oranges, any leftovers in the fridge, ect), and I knew all along that even looking at that kind of snacking would make me even fatter. And I was not a couch potato and my sister sporty spice, I played hockey and did athletics, dancing, music, drama ect. I was on my first self imposed starvation diet at the age of 11 because I was so aware of how fat I was because of how skinny she was. It has been a curse all my life, to the point of developing an eating disorder at university. Now you tell me if my parents (or me for that matter) did anything wrong when I was a child. And btw, I did not eat bigger portions than her.

I agree with you. Initially it is the parents' responsibility (the feeding of the children). Most of time you will also notice that the parents of the "fat" children are obese themselves.......

I agree with you, we are responsible for our kids weight, i too spend all my spare time with my kids and their sport, and if there is no sport, we go to a nature reserve near us and we walk for hours. Great to get out and about.

WELL DONE! Not only are you teaching them about the importance of a healthy lifestyle, but you are also spending quality 'fun-time' together. It shocks me to see how many people want the baby, but not the long-term responsibility. Kids are not cats, they do not raise themselves...