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5 practical steps towards discipline

 
You can’t discipline a child until you know your own values, says this parenting expert.
By Megan de Beyer

Pic: Shutterstock

Article originally in Parent24
 1.    You cannot separate who you are as a person from your parenting. Many parents think that parenting can be a role in their lives. That if they learn the principles, steps and strategies that they can be a good parent. A child is always responding to meta-communication, the energy or atmosphere as well as the real intention of a parent.

2.    Focus first and foremost on the relationship you have with your child. A child who feels respected, listened to and connected to his parent will be a child who chooses to value what the adult requests.

3.    Understand the growth phase that the child is in and what they are capable of at any stage so that you are in synch with where they are at.

4.    Stay present to the facts of any situation and parent from there: do not pull in he past and get anxious about the speculative future that may arise.

5.    Be clear about the limits and boundaries you are setting and know why they are important. Discuss your reasons with your child and stick to what you say if you deem they are reasonable.

More discipline essentials

•    Commit to raising a moral child.
•    Think carefully through the morals and values that are important to you.
•    Write down character traits that you think are important for a wholesome life. Like Kind, honest, trustworthy, contributory, commited etc.
•    Consider the age of your child and imagine the type of acceptable behaviour that is achievable.
•    Tell the child the behaviour you would like to see: put the 'Do' into the 'don't'.
•    Be honest with yourself as to how you rate yourself with this. Are you achieving what you want your daughter to achieve?
•    Focus on the golden rule: "do unto others as you would want them to do unto you".
•    Primary school: Work with specific values each month looking out for teachable moments.
•    Teen: keep discussing consequences and direct the teen towards responsible behaviour.
•    Keep teens accountable for their actions. When rules are violated or trust broken take away privileges.
•    Be clear about what you expect. Try and stay present and not bring in the past and future.

Involve your child in your parenting, lead by example and do not be afraid to apologise and admit mistakes. But be a parent and do not simply aim to please your child.

What are your top 5 discipline essentials?

How to discipline
Read more on: behaviour  |  development  |  discipline
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