in my own opinion i think yes it is wrong for a 12year old to have swx but seriously why do u think a 12yr old woulkd want to?? because of the way the world is, its now acceptable for having half naked women in music vids and on the tv even in PG movies, there is nothing that anybody can do to stop children wanting to do that, the more you tell them no the more they will rebel against it i remember whwn i was in school and if girls or guys were havin sex they was like ''hah before its legal'' its just what society has made acceptable, i guess the only thing you could do is lock all boys and girls separately untill there 18 but apart from that no-one can do anything, xxxx

If its illegal to have sex at 12 then half the countries kids would be in jail. Come on..get real. The other little fact is what example is our dear president setting? Before condemming the little buggers one should lead by example.

the legal age to fornicate in RSA is 16yrs old... not only could these kids have children themselves but they could go to jail for doing so... irrispective of anything

This is truly TERRIBLE!!! What the heck do kids of that age know about love and commitment - because that's what 'making love' is all about - it's not just sex!

I would advocate it for my son. He is 17 this year and I have been taking home condoms for him from about age 10. I think taking the scare factor and funny factor out of condoms, makes them more "user friendly" . I would prefer him not to be having sex but if he is then I would definitely advocate condom use.

better early then never

I believe it has a lot to with the stuff the kids watch on TV and so on. I filter every thing the kids watch at home. I explain why it is not healthy to watch the violent and the motions of sex movies. But when they go out to visit friends I have no control there and can only hope for the best

Research indicates that parents who educate and talk about sex with their children have children who are less likely to engage in sexual behaviour at an early age. Staying connected to your children and talking to them is the best way of protecting them, otherwise it is up to countries such as Switzerland to find other ways such as "hotshots" to protect them. Claire

anyone who knowingly allows their kids to have sex before consent should have their kids taken into foster care- as it is a form of trafficking to buy the condoms is to be an accomplice - so what if the girl is twelve and the boy is 23 ????? or if 1 boy is 23 and the other boy is twelve - well done mom and dad - its so nice how your kids carry your name and teachings -lol dont be suprised when mum gets asked "who your daddy" and you have to think about it

people slap your kids and then slap your self for letting your liberalism go to your heads parenting = parent plus a child so do your jobs the reason why kids are humpping like bunnies is because we endorse it ,LEAD BY EXAMPLE .stop saying its ok to sleep around @16 or 18 or 36 havent enough of our kids got aids let me tell you im form the north of jhb and its sad to see the amount of people that gonna die with aids- SLAP YOUR KIDS B4 YOU BURRY THEM!!!!

I will not buy my child/teen condoms ever. Why? So that they take responsibility for the acts. If they get pregnant or impregnated a girl or any other disease, then they have to take responsibility for the actions. I will educate them well so that they understand all the negative which may come from doing the deed and without an condom and if they choose not to wear one, then they have to live with the consequences.

At 12 years of age I was still playing house with my friends, dressing my Barbie doll and I didn't even know what a French Kiss was. What is happening to our children of today? And I disagree with this crap about oh they are doing it anyway let's help them be safe. Yes, I agree, when they reach the age of around 16 probably but at 12? No way. How are we raising our children to be sexually active at 12? At 12 they should still be kids and the only worries they should have is if they want KFC or Steers for take aways on a Saturday night.

WOW Im speachless ................. this is terrible at that age kids should still be playing outside with electric cars and what not. i am pretty young myself, and i think that this is terrible . but as others say the 'damage' has been done so they will have protection now.i think kids are not kids anymore and thats the most sad thing about it............. not cool!!!

It is clear that marlon is not going to buy these for his daughters so what he is really saying is it is ok because some kids are messed up, which is a easy way to say you are liberal but deep down he doesn't aggree otherwise he would have stated that he is going to buy these for his daughters -please read this to yourself out loud before responding again. Just for clarity if you start giving 12 year olds condoms do you think it is going to happen more or less? in another 10 years time we find that 8 to 12 year olds are having unprotected sex then we get them condoms - and then what do you think comes next?? 6 TO 8? 12 year olds doesn't get strong urges unless they are exposed to things they shouldn't have been to in the first place.

I have a 13year old son and I have told him that sex with the right person is GREAT! and sex with the wrong person is REALLY TERRIBLE! Keeping this in mind I also told him that if he comes home and tells me Girly X is pregnant and it is HIS, before they are married and both have jobs, I will personally book the appointments for him and her. Him to get a vasectomy and her for an abortion and a sterilisation. Children should not under any circumstances have children. Sex at 12years is statutory rape. Children should be born in the sanctity of marriage and raised by BOTH Natural parents. full stop. None of this stepparent business. I have been married to my wonderful husband for 20years, and we have done the whole spectrum of the vow thing you know the part where you promise: in sickness and health, for better and worse and all the rest of it... marriage and children are hard work and most definately NOT for the faint harted.

Some children will experiment & there is absolutely NOTHING any good parent can do. I'd rather have a child that experiments with a condom than have a 12 year old pregnant child who's childhood is ruined!

Cool...I'm 30 and not so big, maybe now I will get a condom to fit me....jipeeeee!!!!

Strewth, stop the world I want to get off. People today ( even religious) havent a clue what entering into a covenant means. When the penis enters the vagina and tears the hymen and blood flows you have "cut the covenant" ( 6000 years old) with that person. Even tribes in Africa who have never seen any religious book can tell you that. That is why the nuptial first night is so special.

what the hell next? we as a civillization is spiraling down to the bottom.taking a bit here and dropping standars a bit there.have it come this far that 12 year ols need condoms.absolute failure for society.

Dear Paul, I know you mean well, but seriously, what was you childhood like? Do you know that marriage, or the union between a man and a woman was taking place years before "God" or Jesus or anyone like that was around, and that's a fact. Also did you know that religion is a man made institution to keep people in guilt and stupid, which in your case sadly it seems to have worked. I can only imagine that you're trolling the web to find some reason for your existence, well that's why I chose to respond. Do some reading of all cultures and religions etc and develop your own view, this kak you're spewing about a 12 old shagging and then being married is just plain stupid. If you're hoping to make a difference you're really going to have to state your case a whole lot better. This article is essentially about being responsible parents, something you and others like Erica seems to have missed. Instead of wishing that it does not happen, accept that it does, (I don't even want to mention that other ostrich who thinks everyone's a virgin when the go to varsity) and be a part of the solution. Its too late to wish that these things don't happen, they have happened before "God" and Jesus walked the planet and they will continue to do so. With love and respect. Jessie

exactly ... no proof ;) there is proof about a lot of things in this world ... proof that a god exists 0, proof that the christian god exists even less ...

As sick as it may be, we need to face the fact that children are having sex at young ages. I have a 15 year old neice and i would rather the "sweet young man" telling her all sorts of things just to get lucky, use protection!!! Kids grow up alot faster than we did and as much as we hate to think of it, it is happening!!! I do not agree with the whole thing HOWEVER if it prevents STD's and unwanted babies then good!! The last thing we need is more kids put in rubbish bins and "stupid little girls" trying to flush them down the local mall toilets.... If i have kids of my own I would teach them as best i could and hope for the best, you as parents cannot be around your kids 24/7....

Quote richard what evidence that god exists ? please explain ?... I would but that would be outside of this topic…..…. BUT briefly I will give you the evidence in due time.

Dont believe that kids of 12 should be having sex but if we cant stop them at least they will be protected and less girls will fall pregnant.

12? is there some biological factor at play here? are our kids really going through puberty and becoming interested in the other sex, sexually at 12-14? I became aware of boys at that age, but just kissing ( moths closed) was such a huge thrill I didn't move beyond that stage for years! I guess my question is, if we accept kids having sex at 12 where do we draw the line? why not 9? 7? 5? I'm just disturbed by the whole thing. 12 year old should wait -end of story. I did and it was thanks to good parenting. ( Thanks, mom!)

Quote Did you guys fall of a turnip truck this morning? ....... This tTRUTH must be passed on to children to consider...... To have sex is to say I want to marry you...... Once they have had sex they are now married...... Don’t you think this important? Knowledge is power.

uhmmmm.....sure...i had my first experience @ 35....awsome superman!! fab article as always....me xoxox

we live in a fucked up world ! shame on us humans for being destructive and stupid ,condoms for 12yr old,sic sic

Did you guys fall of a turnip truck this morning? Read the column carfully, and maybe outloud just for clarity. aajj, its not whether the writer means well or not, this is a reality it is happening, do you think the Swiss would do this just for fun? And Paul... ag shame man, lay down with Erica okay.

Abstain. Be faithful. Condomise. I believe each of these should targeted at a specific group. You cannot expect people in their 30s to abstain, so they must condomise and be faithful. You cannot expect people in their early 20s to be faithful, so they must condomise. As much as kids are having sex from an early age, the truth is that most of them are virgins until they get to varsity. It's easier for a virgin to abstain than anyone else, therefore the "gospel" of abstaining should be more emphasized on this particular group.

HAVE PEOPLE FORGOTTEN THAT SEX AT 12 IS ILLEGAL- AND CONSTITUTES STATATORY RAPE.........

what evidence that god exists ? please explain ?

Marlon - you might mean well but think of it this way - you give a 12 year old boy a condom and tell him under no circumstances to use it; Is a bit like giving a 12 year old a gun and telling him under no circumstances to pull the triger, you are tellling him you already know he is going to have sex, just be safe. I think if you honestly think back on when you were 12 ask youreslf wether you would have appreciated your dad giving you a condom " not to use " Times might have changed but a 12 year old is still a 12 year old. Do you think the UK kids are becoming such thugs because they aren't treated liberally enough?

Don’t you realise when a girl of 12 has sex with a boy that constitutes marriage.... Having sex is marrying that person and if they have sex with someone else that is adultery...... One man one woman joined together for life;that is what God the Creator sanctioned...... You may say that you do not believe in God so does that exclude you?...... BUT if God does exist there will be a lot of sorry people. There is enough evidence that God does exist. Jesus said so.

@erica, honey, lay down before you hurt yourself theres a good little doffy!

12?? now I wouldn't say I'm old, I mean I'm only 21... but at 12 I still thought biys were kind of weird smelly creatures! Has the world really changed that fast?? I mean... sorry to be crude but can 12 year olds even get it up? I mean... I remember there were 2 girls who started in grd7 (13) but that was kind of looked down on... and with high school boys... and I was in Johannesburg not the most conservative town...

You had your first shag at 33! You really do need your own stand up comedy show sir! Brilliant article, love your work. Mwah

Nou laat jy my dink meneer! I've read your columns for a while now and you really have a way with words, taking the pain out of something scary and making it funny. But you're right these are serious issues. I have three young sons and liewe hemel, the last think I'd want to happen to them is to become a dad at 12! Nice work boet! PS do you know if they have those chastity belts for boys too?

I do not agree with the "Hotshot", but the name fits. A boy who wants to have sex at 12 is trying to be a hot shot. Society is full of illplaced marketing of what defines a man or woman. The less you wear and the more you show off your body, the more sexy you are. If you smoke (the mark of a man) and drink (like a man), have lots of girlfirneds (the trademark of a man) etc. Rather ask why children want to be adults Its because childhood sucks. Parents and society dont have the time to be like children and engage with children on their level, so they reach out to us in and we want to force them to grow up because we cant stand the irritation of these little minds, silly games, constant questions, etc. Adults have to become children again and have innocent fun in life. Our children want to emulate us. We are wrong. A child is too immature to make decisions about their future. So change their future outlook by being examplary.

I think it's disgusting to just accept these things as if they are normal. Sex are for responsible adults. What's next? Permission for pedophiles to do what they do "because they're doing it anyway"? Get real man! You'll regret writing this when you buy your 12 year old girl condoms and she ends up shagging an 18 year old or even worse! You moron.

it's called "perpetuating the human race" ... something that is deeply fulfilling, oh Danny boy. Please don't YOU ever try it ... OK?

"Do special condoms for 12-year-olds sound like a good idea?" If not spending the rest of your life with HIV sounds like a good idea, then YES IT DOES! Parents who don't give their children the knowledge and the equipment (condoms) to avoid infection as they enter their teens can rationalise their behaviour any way they like, but the fact is that they will probably end up burying their kids, rather than the other way around. Sending a child into puberty without condoms is like sending a soldier into battle without bullets. You may mean well, but the outcome will usually be fatal.

Um, "eh" ... uh, where is your emperical backing here? Making a rhetorical insinuation that condom usage has not slowed down new HIV or STD infections or pregnancy is a little disingenuous, don't you think? It's well demonstrated that condoms DO reduce the risk of developing STDs and HIV ... I think it's more a case of widespread usage. If more people used the darn things and didn't feel that there was a stigma attached to using them, all these sexually transmitted outputs would be massively reduced. I have used a condom before ... and suspect that my psyche was fine the next day (and still is today). And my marriage is still intact after 13 years, with just the right number of kids in place.

I've been working in the AIDS field for years so all I can say is we need everything we can get to protect our kids - sad as it is, they are having sex at 12 and younger. Only problem is will our SA kids be able to afford and access Hotshots (and condoms generally)when they need them - probably not. PS Marlon, you sound like such a fantastic Dad - your daughters are lucky girls!

its sort of the catch 22 scenario, If you found out your child was having sex at 12 you would want them to be save and protecting themselves from the diseases that that "big oke in grade 6" is carrying,but then again who wants their 12yr old to having sex.

why you people have babies (children) in first place, then cry over how they don't behave as per your wish. Live your own live nicely with your partner family friends and that's it. ahhh......... but now everyone want babies

Hang on these 12year olds are still kids. What happened to inocence and enjoying ones childhood. Parents need to teach their children morals and principals. The world is sick and wants to get to our children.... Parents please spend time with your children so that they don't look for love somewhere else!!!

.... but they're doing it anyway..... so lets help them do it safer... Amazing that society generally frowns on conservatives who preach abstinence becaue "they're doing it anyway" but by focussing on minimising the consequences we tacitly encourage the behaviour. Has encouraging the use of condoms even slowed down new aids or std infections or teenage pregnancies? Or has legal abortions stopped backyard abortions? No, but it is impacting the psyche of our population....

I got news for you... that big oke in Grade 6, with the mustache.... he's not twelve.

I aggree Marlon - have you bought your girls a pack of hot shots yet? you do want them to be responsible 12 year olds don't you?