6 reasons to argue with your teen
Disagreeing with teens is not a bad thing, as long as you hear their viewpoint too.
1. Fighting over rules is healthy
Many parents are now afraid of setting strict rules with the fear of pushing their teens into rebellion. Yet, by being too permissive, children assume that you don't care...which ironically creates more rebellion.
It's even worse to set rules that you aren't going to enforce. This is when teens will sneak around and do stuff behind your back anyway.
Oppressive parents who are diligent at setting strict rules and enforcing them have the best behaved teens. However, although they have obedient children, very often they are also depressed.
The key is to hit the right balance. It is important to have rules and to enforce them, however, they need to be managed correctly:
- Have conversations with your children. Explain why the rules are there.
- Set key rules in main areas such as drugs, alcohol and sex.
- In areas that aren't critical, allow your child some autonomy and freedom to make their own decisions; such as what clothes they will wear, the extra-mural activities they choose and how they spend their allowance.
More reasons to argue with teens2. Arguing can be constructive3. Your child won't be forever scarred4. Being too controlling encourages boredom5. Is your teen really that good?6. Their fears are different from ours
- Ask for their input on the rules you set - Do they agree it is fair? What should the punishment be if they are broken? Should there be any adjustments? How do they feel? What would they change?
Are you frustrated when you argue with your kids?