Their fears are different to ours
Are teens really that different to our own?
Teens think very differently to adults. Where we might be afraid of jumping off a building, swimming with sharks or dying in a fire, teenagers are actually fearless in this regard. They can't feel what it would be like to break their leg because they don't have the life experience you do. So for them, no big deal. But, they are terrified of being embarrassed in front of their friends, wearing the "wrong" brand of shoes or liking a band nobody else does.

As parents we battle to understand the inner workings of their minds. We want to scream at our son who just ramped his skateboard off the roof, ‘How could you have done that? Didn't you know it was a bad idea and you would get hurt?’ The answer? He really didn't.

Then, we could pull our hair out when our teenage daughter is crying for days on end because you bought her the wrong model of cell phone for her birthday. And guess what? They think you are just as crazy because of the way you think.

The point is that you can't have meaningful discussions with your teenager unless you understand how they think. Try to see it from their perspective and then talk about why you feel the way you do and then reach a happy compromise. For example:  Your child may agree to not ride a motorbike until he's 18, if you agree to drop him off a block away from school so that nobody sees his mom's old car.

This is much better than just telling him, ‘The answer is no. No motorbike until you're 18 and that's final. Now get in the car.’

You see? For him it isn't really about the bike, it's about being embarrassed in front of his friends. How would you know that if you didn't ask his opinion?

Is it possible to have a constructive argument with your teenager?

6 reasons to argue with your teen

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