What are we fighting about?
Are you having the same arguments all the time?
Slamming doors and raised voices are common in most households that include a teen and a parent. Adolescence has been described as that hideous period when one’s children undergo personality changes and become argumentative, rebellious, defiant, confrontational and uncooperative. The tension, friction and conflicts that accompany the onset of adolescence are unavoidable (indeed they are a normal and healthy part of your teen’s development). It is possible to minimise the negative impact that these conflicts may have on your family and your relationship. In talking to Grade 9 and 10 learners about what causes conflict a lot of variation emerged, but there was also a lot of common ground in the issues that affect families.
It’s great to know that you are not alone in finding certain topics more thorny than others. The most common causes of family disagreements relate to:
- Going out, socialising, parties.
- School work, homework and academic results.
- Parents treating them as “babies”.
- Lack of communication.
Creating rules around these topics in discussion with your teen will help to prevent having that same argument every time.