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Are you a good role-model parent?

 
Masanda Peter finds out about honesty, openness and learning from mistakes.
By Masanda Peter
Article originally in Parent24
I posed this question to my friends who have children, especially daughters, and wanted to know whether they think they are good role-models for their children especially their daughters. Do they think that their daughters can use them as benchmarks when meeting young men? Some people say that as women, sometimes we look for our fathers in our men. To a certain extent that could be the truth because the first personal relationship you have with a man is with your father (depending on the type of relationship you’ve had with your father.)

How about you, mom and dad?

Do you think that as a father you have lived your life to a point that if your daughter meets a man she can use you as a reference of how a man should behave in a relationship? Have you set the standard for her? To the mothers, do you think that your sons can use you as a reference when meeting young ladies of how a mother or a lady should conduct herself? One thing to note is that our kids are watching us and our actions.

It’s not about doing everything “right”

Back to the men I spoke to, I was humbled by their honesty on how they have lived their lives in front of their children especially daughters and how the strive to be better fathers to their children and also being fathers who make mistakes.

To err is dadly

Andile mentioned that he has tried his best. His daughter knows that he is human. In fact there are more chances of her doing choosing a man like him because we tend to look for our parents qualities in prospective partners.

Recognise the good (and the bad) in yourself


Thuso had this to say “I always wonder what kind of a man my angel is going to marry or date, currently I can proudly say I would want my angel to marry a man like me. A man who fears God, who puts his family first and a man who faces up to his responsibilities. When I speak of family the man must be able to take care of his extended family as well, to the best of his ability. I would want her to marry a man who does not give up, because I do not give up on pursuing my goals. However, I must say that I would definitely not encourage her to marry the guy I was between 2009 and 2010. I made many mistakes in my marriage but have since realised how my actions have hurt my family and I am making things right. I am not perfect.

No one is perfect but this statement should not make us do things that are not good in the name of not being perfect. We will strive to do the right things for our children and make better future citizens out of them and cannot always get it right. One thing to remember is that the kids are watching us.


Read more by Masanda Peter


Disclaimer: The views of columnists published on Parent24 are their own and therefore do not necessarily represent the views of Parent24.


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Do you think your kids have picked up some positive relationship tips from you?

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