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Many parents feel like they’re the worst parents on the planet- and that’s especially true when they try their best but it doesn’t work. There are genuinely dysfunctional moms and dads out there who neglect their kids, but what can really sting is when your kids are ungrateful, spiteful or just plain mean to you. All you have to do is check out the Tumblr “My mom is a bitch” (Warning, strong language) to see that some kids are venting, and it’s not pretty- but why are they doing it?
Harmless venting?
Many parents will feel the wrath of their teens, and understand that the “I HATE YOU”s which come in response to the parents enforcing a family rule or standard are simply teens reacting in a volatile manner to not getting their own way (or, from their perspective, losing their independence).
Children may express their frustrations verbally to their parents, or, if they realise they’ll just get into more trouble, they may dump their feelings on the internet, as a status update, or even on an anonymous platform. Looking at the Tumblr, though, there’s a combination of kids reacting to not getting their own way, kids who aren’t allowed to express themselves and kids who loathe their parents so much (possibly for valid reasons) that they need to get those feelings out, anywhere.
A generation ago, there was no internet to listen to your complaints if you ‘hated’ your parents. Chances were, if you called your mom or dad a rude name, you’d be a lot of trouble.
Apart from the blatantly aggressive messages kids have put up on the site, there are also some notable clues (LANGUAGE):
a) Kids have some strong feelings to express
b) Sometimes they just can’t say what they’re thinking
c) Parents might not be listening “between the lines”
d) Small things can affect kids in big ways
e) Sometimes parents screw up and won’t admit it
f) Communication within families is HARD!
Maybe it's not such a bad idea...
While parents can certainly spend more time listening to their teens (and teens to their parents), it isn’t always possible to express the feelings both go through- kids don’t understand or appreciate the stress and pressure of parenting along with holding down jobs and paying bills, and parents don’t always ‘get’ that being a teen is an intensely emotional time, with the pressures of formulating a personality, having to achieve socially and at school and dealing with hormones.
Do teens need a space to vent sometimes? What do you think?
Follow Parent24 on Twitter, or join us on Facebook
Disclaimer: The views of columnists published on Parent24 are their own and therefore do not necessarily represent the views of Parent24.
Many parents feel like they’re the worst parents on the planet- and that’s especially true when they try their best but it doesn’t work. There are genuinely dysfunctional moms and dads out there who neglect their kids, but what can really sting is when your kids are ungrateful, spiteful or just plain mean to you. All you have to do is check out the Tumblr “My mom is a bitch” (Warning, strong language) to see that some kids are venting, and it’s not pretty- but why are they doing it?
Harmless venting?
Many parents will feel the wrath of their teens, and understand that the “I HATE YOU”s which come in response to the parents enforcing a family rule or standard are simply teens reacting in a volatile manner to not getting their own way (or, from their perspective, losing their independence).
Children may express their frustrations verbally to their parents, or, if they realise they’ll just get into more trouble, they may dump their feelings on the internet, as a status update, or even on an anonymous platform. Looking at the Tumblr, though, there’s a combination of kids reacting to not getting their own way, kids who aren’t allowed to express themselves and kids who loathe their parents so much (possibly for valid reasons) that they need to get those feelings out, anywhere.
A generation ago, there was no internet to listen to your complaints if you ‘hated’ your parents. Chances were, if you called your mom or dad a rude name, you’d be a lot of trouble.
Apart from the blatantly aggressive messages kids have put up on the site, there are also some notable clues (LANGUAGE):
- "You DON’T fucking understand anything If you fucking DID you wouldn’t be fucking yelling at me! Goddamn! "
- "I don’t know why my mom is such a bitch lately. I wanted to wait by the mailbox for my package and she got mad. OK..?"
- "having crackers for dinner because yolo, no actually because my mom went to sleep at fucking 7 pm because shes oh so tired and im too lazy to cook"
- "Well… This is awesome… I don’t get to eat tonight because I whistled".
- "I’m so tired of my mother. She doesn’t even know how many cuts I have because of her."
- "I’m tired of being bullied inside my own house by the one person who is supposed to love me the most."
- "my mom finally bought me the pants I wanted for a while, except she purposely bought them 2 sizes smaller so the only way I could wear them was if I lost weight"
- "Who else has an overprotective, un-accepting,
conservative, suppressive mother who will not let you do anything or
express yourself in the least bit?"
a) Kids have some strong feelings to express
b) Sometimes they just can’t say what they’re thinking
c) Parents might not be listening “between the lines”
d) Small things can affect kids in big ways
e) Sometimes parents screw up and won’t admit it
f) Communication within families is HARD!
Maybe it's not such a bad idea...
While parents can certainly spend more time listening to their teens (and teens to their parents), it isn’t always possible to express the feelings both go through- kids don’t understand or appreciate the stress and pressure of parenting along with holding down jobs and paying bills, and parents don’t always ‘get’ that being a teen is an intensely emotional time, with the pressures of formulating a personality, having to achieve socially and at school and dealing with hormones.
Do teens need a space to vent sometimes? What do you think?
Follow Parent24 on Twitter, or join us on Facebook
Disclaimer: The views of columnists published on Parent24 are their own and therefore do not necessarily represent the views of Parent24.
