Older women and toy boys
The age gap between relationships are getting scarily bigger and bigger.
We always talk about older men dating younger girls and realised that we sometimes forget to look at older women dating younger men or boys. It is not a pretty sight to see young girls hanging out in bars with older and married men. I have noticed a trend of older women going for younger boys or men and yes these young men could be your sons. These young men are loosely referred to as Ben 10s – after the TV cartoon character.
I spoke to a divorced mom of two who is dating a man 14 years younger than her. She says that initially she was uncomfortable about the age difference but this young man was a source of comfort for her and he cares and loves her. She was aware that he was young but went ahead with the relationship anyway. She says that her “Ben 10” as she calls him would sometimes be touchy and clingy in public and that used to embarrass her but she soon got used to it.
When they had to deal with bedroom matters she was not comfortable having a young man busy with her but gave in, he is not under age after all. One thing she noticed though that threatened the relationship is that this young man asked her for money and did not return it. He would borrow her car and use it the whole day while she was at work and she just did not like the idea of being an ATM machine, always providing.
This lady is a mother to two boys and when asking her how she would feel if her boys were to date older women she was a bit hesitant and this seemed to not go down well with her. Of course it seems like there are double standards here. She says that such relationships seldom last and that would be her hope if her sons were to date older women – which confused me a bit. She wants her sons to date girls of their age. She has not told her sons that the man is her partner and said he was a friend. She has met the mother of her partner and she seemed fine with the relationship and did not question her.
No sugar mommies (or daddies), thanks
As parents I guess we do not have control over such matters and as a mother to a boy I am really not sure how I would feel having a woman my age dating my son. I am just not comfortable with it at all. One might say if they are in love and make each other happy then why does it matter? Well I am not there yet and hope not to be there as I am think I might not like it. The same woman dating a Ben 10 is also against having her sons dating an older woman which makes me hesitate to agree that it’s the right thing.
A Ben 10 could be your son – madly in love with an older woman same age as you.
Read more by Masanda Peter
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What age gaps are appropriate for sons and daughters and their love-interests?