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You’re a dork, and so is your kid!

 
If you never grew up, your kid will pick up your habits, suggests Marlon.
Marlon Abrahams
By Marlon Abrahams

Pic: Jade Photography

Article originally in Parent24
I’ve spoken about it before: Kids learn things by osmosis which means they absorb stuff into their ‘cells’ from us without them even realising it. Good stuff and bad stuff. They observe, they hear, they sense, they become. This is why some kids end up being just like their parents, and it is not necessarily always a good thing.

Unspoken rules

I went to an all-boys high school and it was great. Personally I don’t think I would have survived the distraction of being around pretty girls every day, so I count my blessings. The dynamics at a boy’s school is somewhat different. There are unsaid rules and codes that you just assimilate and toe the line to. You don’t rat on your pals, you back each other up, you team up with your best mate to take on the bully and you either get the better of him or you get both get the crap kicked out of you. And of-course you wear your wounds with pride.

But, there will always be the dorky clique, those misfits no one bothers to even pick on because you just know they’ll never change. They are usually the ones who whine and moan about pedantic stuff, always pointing out the obvious, making sure the teacher hears or sees them. They are the ones who will break the bro-code and rat out someone else because it’s the right thing to do.

Some kids never grow up

Well I had a massive flashback to my high school days the other day after some comments were posted on my old school’s Facebook group page. It’s been almost 30 years since we ran around the school corridors beating each other up, calling each other names, sorting out the pecking order etc. Back then we knew our place. You couldn’t just spew forth without consequences. However, it seems age has made some of the dorks braver. This time they were making their dorky remarks knowing that there would be no recriminations.

Trouble is, their comments and behaviour was still dorky. They were still out of touch with the current trend, especially the general flow of the subject of discussion. And what made it fascinating to observe was when a former head-boy who commanded a lot of respect back in the day entered the fray and got the dorks to shut up with just one comment.

These dorks are parents now and it was absolutely obvious that they have not changed one bit. It was also clear that their kids were destined to be as dorky as they are and would probably suffer the same fate at school.

It’s not too late...

Moral of the story: Kids will emulate you in every way, and if you got your ass whipped every second day at school because you were a dork, and you still haven’t learnt your lesson, chances are the fruit of your loins will suffer the same fate. And no, I’m not condoning bullying or anything like that; our school motto was “Viriliter Age” which is Latin for Act Manfully, and I for one learned my lessons the hard way, earning respect for my troubles, what with being a year younger than everyone else. Don’t be a dork, ‘cos your kids will end up being dorks too, it wasn’t cool when you were at school and it ain’t cool now that you’re an adult.

Do you agree that some kids learn bad characteristics from immature parents?


Disclaimer: The views of columnists published on Parent24 are their own and therefore do not necessarily represent the views of Parent24.


Read more by Marlon Abrahams

Read more on: behaviour  |  bully  |  teen  |  development
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