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Cheating on the kids

 
Do people who have affairs consider the effect they have on their children?
By Sipho Yanano

Pic: Shutterstock

Article originally in Parent24
I've always admired my neighbours, a couple in their 20s with a young daughter. To me they represented what I saw fading from my community - young couples who give marriage a respectable name.

Much as I tried not to be a busybody I couldn't help noticing that the young man came home at peculiar times of the day, any time between 2am and 4am (I'm a really early riser). I had to keep my inquisitive mind in check to stop playing Sherlock Holmes, peeping through curtains with a pair of binoculars on hand in the dead of the night.

My fertile imagination came up with one logical conclusion: my secretive neighbour was up to something illegal. I wondered when the cops would catch him at his game.

The jigsaw puzzle was solved months later when an acquaintance who hung around in same clubs with my neighbour commented: ‘Is he still sleeping at home?’

I was shocked to discover that the man next door was playing a Tiger Woods on his wife. But why? I wondered. He'd everything that a man wanted an attractive wife, an adorable child and a loving home. Why risk it then? Then I remember what someone said: (it still sounds rude and crude to me) If a man thinks with his third leg he can gamble away all the precious things in his life.’ My neighbour is doing exactly that.

Infidelity and the children

My main concern is the effect of the man’s infidelity is going to have not only on his spouse but also on his child. He is cheating both wife and child. Those stolen moments he spends in the arms of a stranger are snatched from the family time he should be spending being a father and husband.

When a man is consumed by an illicit affair his attention is divided so much that even if he's at home with his kids his mind is elsewhere.

I doubt if the monogamous love that holds a marriage together can be stretched to cover a mistress. Once one marriage partner stretches this kind of love to accommodate another, it tears exposing the innocent children to torn emotions and heartache that result from an absent parent or divorce.

Parents who have affairs are plain selfish, never thinking about their children. Those who are not ready to settle should avoid marriage and children because they can't have it both ways. That way it's fair for everyone involved.

Do their parents’ affairs impact negatively on children, even if they stay secret?
 
Read more on: divorce  |  adultery  |  marriage
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