Do you parent like your parents?
Is the way you were raised the best way, or are you trying to forge a new style of parenting?
Most people I know are grateful for the role their parents played in their lives when growing up but when it comes to the parenting style some would rather differ.
I have seen different parenting styles out there; obviously used because that style works for that particular family. Strict parents, or those who let their kids do as they wish spoiling them in the name of allowing them to explore the world as they wish – and everything in between.
Each style has certain results – we have seen those children who had no control and guidance from their parents taking a less desirable route in life. Some of those kids end up exercising a different approach with their children because they have seen bad results from being spoilt by their parents.
I stayed with my grandma and later my mom so I think I have taken certain elements from each of them. My grandmother was the screaming type and would be on top of her voice if anything was wrong. She rarely used corporal punishment and was an expert at ‘the look’. Trust me, the look worked, especially when there were visitors around and you tried to embarrass her.
My mother was the ‘let’s sit down and talk’ type of a parent and avoided conflict, she used to encourage harmony within the household. The sight of tears would make her give in sometimes and that was my escape plan in my naughty moments. Looking at the two of them I have taken on using the look, and I do sit my little boy and make him understand why I do not want him to do certain things. I’m also a bit of a screamer sometimes when it is necessary or when highly upset.
When it comes to discipline, parents these days are rather relaxed. Growing up, my friends knew of a special belt, shoe or wet towel but I am seeing less of these types of corporal punishments being used. I am sure some people were so traumatised by these that they would rather do away with them. Those whose parents were strict are often quite relaxed with their children on certain things. It could be that parents are aware of the children’s rights and don’t want to be on the wrong side of the law.
One friend of mine mentioned that her mom was the confrontational type. If something wrong was done at her school she would approach the teachers and give them a piece of her mind, priests and neighbours, it was the same. She grew up embarrassed by her mom’s actions. Now she is making a conscious decision not to be like her at all so that she does not embarrass her daughter like she was embarrassed.
Read more by Masanda Peter
Are you parenting like your parents or doings things differently?
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