Take the 2014 Kids Nation SurveyWe want to hear from South Africa's parents! Complete the survey and you could win R1000 in cash or a R500 online voucher!
 
5 delicious true confessionsParent24 collects some riveting true confessions from parents and teachers.
 
Search

5 events in the parenting olympics

 
How do you fare in all of the major parenting events?
parents jumping
Scott Dunlop

Pic: Shutterstock

Athletes operate to strict regimes. They have specialised diets, gruelling training schedules and repeated failures. Sometimes it takes years to get to where they are. Much like parents. Read on to find out how parents are especially gifted in areas other mortals aren’t- even while under extreme stress and operating on zero sleep.

Running


Running is great for all-round fitness. Parents do this better than most. Whether you have a baby, a toddler or a teen, there’s no place for mindless pottering. You run. Run to grab that change of nappy, rush to snatch the potty in time or dash between extra-mural events whilst hoping your petrol tank won’t splutter out in rush-hour traffic. Sometimes you sprint, but mostly it feels like an endless marathon which only allows you to sneak in a toilet break behind a bush where everyone can see you.

Jumping

Your kid is wandering too close to the edge of the pavement, or the top of a flight of stairs? You jump. When your inquisitive pre-schooler insists on trying to throw a toy robot into the open flames of the braai, you leap. You do the long jump to break up fights, and the high jump when your kid aims a stream of vomit at your feet. Parents are the springiest people around.

Water sports


Timing is vital in all sports, but especially when it comes to water. Like the times your kid may try damming the toilet with teddy, or something more creative, like “making a sea” by turning on the bathroom taps. Floods are inevitable, but, with practice, you learn to listen for tell-tale drips and gushes, and you alone can prevent the house becoming an Olympic-sized pool.

Balancing


In the same way that those Russian gymnasts fling themselves around on beams, ropes and mats, parents have to keep dozens of things going at once. Pots are boiling, laundry is spinning, toys are tidied and re-tidied, stories must be read and kids must be bathed and fed. Any deviation in the strictly formulated routine will, at the very least, end in mayhem, if not life-threatening injury.

Throwing

Even while your kid is still learning exactly how best to throw his toys out of the cart, you’ll be an expert. Those early years will be all about throwing stuff out- nappies, wet wipes, broken heirlooms, bits of happy meal toys, headless dolls and wheel-less cars. You’ll learn how to throw meals together using an onion and a handful of rice, and be skilled at tossing a blanket over the cream couch to cover up yoghurt stains and other suspicious marks.

Gold medals to all participants

It all sounds a bit exhausting, doesn’t it? But, don’t forget, there’s glory involved- for every cute smile they do out in public, or every certificate they win for “most cheerful in class”, you get to stand on the podium with them. “What wonderful kids”, people will say, and all of your training will feel like nothing compared to that huge burst of pride.

What parenting sport do you perform best in?
 
NEXT ON PARENT24X

Read Parent24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
1 comment
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining
 
 
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.