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'No man wants a single mom'

 
Should single mothers throw in the towel when looking for love?
Masanda Peter
By Masanda Peter
Article originally in Parent24
My single or divorced girlfriends with 2 kids or more seem to have thrown in the towel when it comes to finding love again because of the number of children they have. The feeling is that no man will want them with two or more kids.

I always get "at least you still have one child and you still stand a chance to get a man" or "who would want me with three kids". I am wondering if we are not being too hard on ourselves by thinking like this as mothers. I then decided to call on a few single guys to find out their take on dating a woman with more than one child even marrying them.

Children are a gift from God and being single with kids does not make you less of a woman. If you feel like you are being done a favour or made to feel like you have failed then that is not the right relationship for you but then again I am no relationship expert.

This is what these dads had to say:

Lunga, a father of 3

"I would not have a problem marrying someone with children but where I have a problem is when she needs to meet with the father of the children. The fact that they have history would make me uncomfortable and that might cause problems. I would gladly raise the children as my own and I do not see a problem with that."

Thabo, a father of 2

"No ways. One is fine and I can live with that but more than one I would not consider her at all. Children are hard work and need attention and while I am busy looking after them and raising them doing all the work, their father(s) are having a nice time. Why should I be doing all the work? I want the children to grow up with me. I want to understand them and not just inherit them because I would have missed out on so much about them and I do not want complications in my life. I am just not prepared to learn about new characters they come in. One child I can manage."

Aubrey, 39, a single dad

"Having a woman with kids means that she has seen it all and it will actually benefit my marriage. I think we would be in a stable environment. I really would not have a problem meeting up with a lady with children. It is not even a big factor; I would gladly take her with her children because I love her."

I think as woman we really should not be too hard on ourselves. It's different strokes for different folks. Having children is not the end of the world and if someone is meant for you they will love you with or without kids. We just need to ensure that the man has the best interest of the child before getting into the relationship.

Disclaimer: The views of columnists published on Parent24 are their own and therefore do not necessarily represent the views of Parent24.

Have you been found love after being single with kids?

Read more on: toddler  |  single parent  |  mother  |  father
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