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In a world full of rules and specific 'standards' that we as parents need to maintain to help our children seem relatively 'normal' to the outside world, hearing the word NO too often discourages a growing mind.
Here are a few insights regarding what you can say to your child or how you should say it, depending on the situation, instead of using the actual word 'No.'
A typical example would be if your child starts kicking a ball around in the house, your immediate response would be to shout the words NO or STOP!
Read: These parents have been 'gentle parenting' for years, and this is what it's like
Try your best to restrain yourself from doing this and say something along the lines of:
'You know that kicking the ball around is for outside' or 'There are lots of things that could break inside the house, you can kick the ball as much as you want outside rather.'
This way, you explain why kicking the ball needs to stay outside rather than inside. Not only that, but you are disassociating the action with doing something 'wrong.'
All children go through the 'Why' stage. So, offering a brief but easy-to-understand explanation will go a long way. This, however, comes with specific responsibilities as well.
Also read: Are your squabbling kids driving you mad? Here's how to deal with it
Another way to achieve this is to provide options for them. If they don't want to eat their fruit for example, ask them for an explanation.
If they say they don't like it, maybe they don't want to eat out of that particular bowl, or they don't want to eat it with that specific fork or if they don't like that particular piece of fruit.
It's up to you as a parent to change it up for them and give them options and let them choose to eat their fruit out of the blue or green bowl, or use the pink or purple fork etc.
By doing these little things you'll make them feel better about the decision process and what they are doing, and you will raise independent and thinking adults.
Remember, our aim as parents is to teach our children how to live without us – harsh but true.
Leave them with the ability to make excellent and well-thought-out decisions. That will be your legacy as parents.
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