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- Surrogate Angelique Butler shares how her journey has given her purpose.
- The 31-year-old mother of two says giving those yearning for the gift of parenthood warms her heart.
- "I'm doing surrogacy to complete a family and to give someone else out there the joy of their own child," she says.
Angelique Butler finds herself having to answer questions about her decision to be a surrogate, especially as a popular TikToker sharing her journey online.
She tells us that she calls herself Mej Sonneblom (Miss Sunflower in Afrikaans) because, like a sunflower, even in its darkest days, it turns to the sun and brings light into people's lives. At 31, she is dedicated to helping couples struggling with infertility issues, singletons and gay couples to fulfil their wish of being parents.
"Here I am, using the body God gave me to carry a child for them and complete their family. Changing the lives of others makes me happy. It gives me a sense of purpose."
She started her surrogacy journey in 2020 when she already had two children of her own. Her daughter Leané is 8, and her son Enrique is 11. And she confessed to her mom that she actually loves being pregnant.
Angelique Butler. Image supplied
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"Two is enough for me. However, so many people struggle with infertility." A thought came into mind, and she asked her mother what she thought about surrogacy.
"My mom said she will support me in anything I do," Angelique says. From then on, she never looked back. Her research started, and TikTok was her first point of reference. "
At first, I did not understand surrogacy that well. I thought I would be carrying my own child, but as soon as an expert explained everything, I understood that I would only be a gestational surrogate. Gestational surrogacy is where another woman's egg and a man's sperm get combined in a lab, forming an embryo and getting transferred into me, so the baby is not mine. Their bun, my oven, as I say."
Angelique Butler during her pregnancy. Image supplied
Her love for children and taking care of others has always been there. She recalls how she would take care of her brother as a child. Fast-forward to her adult years, and she is a registered caregiver.
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After rigorous paperwork, psychological assessments and doctor appointments, she was then approved to be a surrogate. "I then started my first medication in February 2021 to get my body ready for all those hormonal medications and to prepare my body for an embryo transfer that happened on 17 April 2021. It's amazing what IVF can do," she tells us.
She gave birth on 9 December 2021 via C-section to a beautiful little girl.
Angelique Butler gave birth to a healthy little girl. Image supplied
"After the delivery of their little girl, I heard her cry while they stitched me up, and [the parents] moved out to bond with her in another room. As soon as I got pushed out of the theatre, the father came and brought me a goodie bag full of food and couldn't thank me enough. Her weight was 2.7kgs, perfectly healthy and born at 37 weeks," she says, recalling the fulfilling moment.
Of the most frequently asked question, Angelique says it's usually: "How can you carry a child for 9 months and give the baby away?" And her response to this question is, "It's not my child, to begin with, so why would I want to keep the baby in the first place?"
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To her, it is important for people to understand what being a surrogate is.
"I'm not giving the baby away. I'm giving the baby back!" I don't form a bond with the baby I'm carrying at all. Yes, I do feel the kicks, and I do get morning sickness, but I do not desire to keep a baby that does not belong to me. I'm doing surrogacy to complete a family and to give someone else out there the joy of having their own child."
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Another common question is about payment. But Angelique refers to it as compensation or reimbursement for expenses which are directly related to the pregnancy. "I have set limits on what I can spend, from maternity clothing and special nutritional requirements to vitamins etc. This is never about money. It's about gifting parents with a baby."
And now she is on her second surrogacy journey. "I can't wait to bless them with a little bundle of joy and let them experience the happiness, love and joy of a child."
