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Reality TV star Khloé Kardashian has opened up about her surrogacy journey.
Khloé, who welcomed son Tatum with her basketball player ex Tristan Thompson in July last year, says she wishes people were candid about the realities of surrogacy.
Speaking to her sister Kim Kardashian and Kourtney's ex Scott Disick on the season 3 premiere of The Kardashians, the 38-year-old admitted she found the process hard.
“It was a mindf**k. It's just the weirdest thing,” she says.
“I definitely buried my head in the sand during that pregnancy and I didn't digest what was happening. So I think when I went to the hospital, I really think that was the first time that it really registered,” she adds.
She says the overwhelming feeling had nothing to do with the baby but rather the process during and after the birth.
The experience of surrogacy, Khloé explains, felt transactional.
“You're just like, ‘Okay, we're having a baby and this is my son and I'm taking him home with me.’ I definitely was in a state of shock from my entire experience. I felt really guilty that this woman just had my baby and I take the baby and I go in another room and we're sort of separated.”
Khloé, who carried her and Tristan's first child, True (5), admits that connecting with Tatum has been hard, but adds that she’s been told it can take time.
Kim, who’s had two children via surrogacy, didn’t have trouble connecting with her babies after they were born. But she says mothers who go the surrogate route bond with their children in different ways.
“I do think there's a difference when the baby is in your belly, the baby actually feels your real heart. There's no one else on this planet who'll feel you from the inside like that,” the 42-year-old explains.
Khloé and Tristan’s son was born during one of the pair’s many "off-again" periods. Their most recent split followed news that the LA Lakers’ power forward and centre had fathered a child with fitness model Maralee Nichols (33).
Sources close to Khloé say she kept the pregnancy a secret to protect the surrogate’s privacy and safety, and to shield herself from public judgement.
Although she and Tristan are now co-parenting, there doesn't seem to be any chance of a romantic reconciliation.
"I still think he's a great guy, and he's a great dad," Khloé said in an interview with Good Morning America. "He's just not the guy for me."
SOURCES: HARPERSBAZAAR.COM, ELLE.COM, ETONLINE.COM, DAILYMAIL.CO.UK, EONLINE.COM
