A decade of friendship
Having babies at the same time forms the tightest of bonds.

Last weekend I got together with my son’s old Moms and Tots group as we do every month – and have done for ten years.

Watching our pre-teen children swimming together, laughing, joking and interacting like cousins while we chatted about our lives was as relaxing and fun as always.

Lean on me

Together we’ve weathered miscarriages, new siblings, post natal depression, single motherhood, divorces, job changes, launching businesses, leaving the workplace, breastfeeding difficulties, sleeping worries, bullying, discipline problems and we’re all taking some deep breaths before the hormonal teenage years hit us. 

A Mommy War free zone

We’re all so different, some want elective c-sections, others prefer drug free natural births. Some breastfeed while others don’t. Some work, some stay home; some feel private schools are best, others that government schools are the way to go.

What we do have in common is that we needed a support group of other mothers going through similar things. We chat, we give opinions. There have been the occasional mild skirmishes, but no outright fights, and they've never been about the way we parent, but the normal ups and downs of any friendships. 

What does the future hold?

I was reminded of all this as I sat on another sunny Saturday afternoon with the group of mothers I met at La Leche League meetings when I had my daughter, wondering if ten years down the line we’d all be just as close.

Perhaps we’ve stayed close because we’re quite organised. We have a roster that we send out in December each year with the plan of who will host the get-togethers each month (always the last weekend of the month) and where we will have outings to (I'm the nerd who enjoys putting that together). We have a list of host’s responsibilities, which include the catering. We've all got other friendship groups and other special friends, but these friends who we’ve parented with all the way through are something special.

Special benefits

Our children have grown up around each other, and when anyone has had an emergency, they've all happily gone off with a well known friend without the additional trauma of a stranger baby sitting them when everyone is frightened. 

These are the people we phone up or e-mail and it feels like no time has passed at all. 

You always think your high school friends will be forever, then your varsity friends, then your ante-natal class friends, but sometimes friendships form in unexpected ways and a group stays together for a decade. Here’s to many more years of mommy friendship.  I wonder if these will be my friends when the children are grown and gone, or if we’ll drift apart as the teenage years hit us soon. 

Has having children paved the way for special friendships for you?

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