Costner puts kids before career
Making choices to be an involved dad is not only for Hollywood stars, says single dad Marlon.

Every time a celeb’s actions influence society in a good way, especially around parenting, I feel that we are indeed making a difference by sharing our parenting experiences on platforms like these.

Recently, 55-year-old Kevin Costner has said he hasn’t made a new film in 4 years because he’s been focused on raising his young kids. During that time his wife Christine has given birth to three babies now aged three, one and six months and, he told the Telegraph, ‘It’s noisy, really noisy. But they’re really good children,’ he says, ‘And I see them making steps every day, and the one thing I pray for in life is not success but being able to raise my children and that nothing happens to me in the next 20 years. “I want it to be me who tells them about the secrets, the beauty, the treachery and everything that is in life. I don’t want them to learn from someone else.’ 

What makes his comments even more remarkable is that Costner has 3 grown up kids from a previous marriage and a teenager from a casual liaison with another woman. And his wife Christine is 20 years younger than he.

Are dads dummies?

I’ve been invited back onto Great Expectations on eTV for a show on March 8, 2011 entitled ‘Daddying for Dummies’. It seems the stereotypes about men being as useful as a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest when it comes to parenting is still alive and well. Which is why when people like Ronaldo and Costner embrace parenting and fatherhood, we should share it with men and women who still conform to those stereotypes.

Look, most men are happy to embrace the role of the dunce only good enough to fix the car and mow the lawn. I even know of a dad who refused to interact with the baby ‘because it can’t talk yet and I’ll get involved when it starts talking.’

But some women are guilty of not letting their men near the baby in case ‘he breaks it.; These fears and pre-conditions are throwbacks from a previous generation, which I for one hope we can let go of now.

Encourage the men and fathers in your lives and the lives of your children to play a more active role, even in the routine aspects of parenting, like preparing bottles, cleaning bums, etc etc. And guys, you have to insist on being a part of your kid’s lives, the critical role of the father in the lives of his offspring has be discussed ad nauseum and it’s a no brainer in terms of it being important. Read Costner’s comments about wanting to teach them… beautiful!

Trust me the last thing you want to have to deal with is a delinquent teenager who shouts back at you ‘why do you want to be involved now, when you were never there when I was a baby.’ Yeah I said that to put you on a guilt trip. But all I’m really trying to convey here is that parenting is the single most important responsibility you have as a human being, so, with apologies to Nike, just do it already!

If you could afford to take time off to raise your family, would you?

Read more by Marlon Abrahams

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