Building your relationship to prepare your life for parenthood!
A reader shares what she learnt about her marital relationship after her baby was born.

"Not only am I a mom of 2 beautiful children and 3rd due in 5 weeks, but I am also a Pregnancy and Parenting Human Behaviour Specialist.

So often I see relationships breaking down after the birth of children and throughout my experience, research and experience with my clients I have discovered along with many other experts in the industry, that there is a huge correlation between not building your relationship before having a baby and post-partum depression and the breakdown of marriages.

"I also experienced this myself and after years of research and discovering that approximately 92% of parents experience relationship challenges, I have found that there needs to be more awareness around this issue.

"Some tips on how to prevent it is to:

  • truly understand where you may have some differences and work on them before you have a baby,
  • understand the different ways in which you and your partner may think,
  • set a common goal for how you would like to parent and your situation to be,
  • be completely open and honest about how you feel and your expectations of one another's support,
  • expect that there will be challenges but take steps prior to ensure you are both on the same page and will commit to working through it together,
  • expect that your life will be different from before and tell one another the things you like when you are feeling a little flat,
  • connect with lots of like-minded people before during and after birth,
  • ask for help if you are struggling and accept it when it comes,
  • embrace the things that will keep you connected as a couple and whatever that means for you.

"The bond and love you have for one another will set the foundations for your family, the longevity of your relationship and the legacy you will leave for your children."

Bree-Anna Vincent, Melbourne, Australia

Are you about to have a baby or just thinking about having one? Are you worried that having a baby would change your relationship for the worse? Share your story by emailing to and we could publish your letter. Do let us know if you'd like to stay anonymous. 

Read more: 

Your spouse should come before your kids  
Love is survival 
What really ruins love  
What is love? Watch these kid 'experts' explain 
A spinster’s view on marriage  

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