A little privacy, please!

Privacy – something we all need. A basic human right that apparently only applies the moment you step out of the front door in some households.

Many parents still have the “Privacy? Not in my house” approach, and it’s a little shocking, to say the least.

Seems like Snoopy isn’t just a beloved cartoon dog anymore. 

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There are a few kinds of parents in this world:

The unapologetic snooper

This parent will shamelessly snoop around in their child’s belongings like it's their day job. If they know their children have a journal, they will try to read it at every opportunity. The type of parent who will make a visual note of how your things are packed before rummaging through it. The overly hands-on parent.

When you hand them your phone to look at a picture, they’ll start scrolling as fast as they can and question the pictures they find. They’ll follow you on social media and become offended if you don’t follow them back. They’ll ask you “what does this mean” for everything you post and assume everything has a hidden message or negative connotation. They’ll unlock your phone's screen when they hear the message tone.

This type of parent will call the people you say you’re with just to make sure you really are. If you're at an event, they’ll go inside just to check things out. They're the type to scratch in other people's drawers right in front of them. They’ll unashamedly ask you questions that are pretty much way too invasive.

This parent knows everyone’s business besides their own child’s unless they find out for themselves (in all the wrong ways).

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The shameful snooper

This kind of parent will do some snooping every now and then when they’re a bit concerned with their child’s behaviour. The difference between the unapologetic snooper and the shameful snooper, obviously, is that the shameful snooper actually feels some remorse and guilt for their behaviour and tries not to make a habit of it, because they realise it’s not the best thing to be doing.

This parent isn’t as crafty with it though, so they might accidentally let it slip that they’ve been doing some snooping, or as they like to call it, “research.”

This parent will claim not to gossip but acquire all the information they need through other people. 

If they want to know something or ask you a question, they’ll ask around it and beat around the bush as opposed to flat-out asking. The type to scratch in people's drawers but only when they're not looking. 

They’ll still scroll through your gallery when you show them a picture though, but slowly and innocently, because they don’t really see a problem with it and aren’t looking for anything incriminating. 

These type of parents may snoop because they “mean well” as opposed to just being invasive or wanting to know everything, but it doesn't make it okay.

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The 'ignorance is bliss' parent

These kinds of parents are not the type to snoop at all. If they want to know something, they'll simply ask about it, no matter how awkward or invasive it may seem. They may be considered a "cool parent." These parents adopt a nonchalant approach and respect their children’s freedom and privacy. 

They don’t care to know what you’re up to because they know kids do kid things and they adopt more of a laid-back approach. They believe that there are certain things children need to learn on their own and don't feel the need to meddle. 

These parents generally have good and open communication with their children. 

So, now it’s time to ask yourself, which parent are you?

The problem with snooping

Communication is key

It’s understandable that as parents, you want to know your children inside and out and always know what’s going on in their lives.

Here’s the thing: communication is key, and so is privacy.

If you want to know what's going on in your children's lives, communicate with them. The lack of communication is essentially the reason you feel the need to snoop. Try to establish open communication with your child first before you break their trust for good. 

I feel like only if the situation is a dangerous or detrimental one and you’re doing it to help or protect your child, then you do what you must. If not, it's just not fair.

Give your children space. Even when it comes to social media, if they express discomfort with you following them on social media, respect that. They may not have anything to hide, it really just is one of those things.

In the same way there are things you may not necessarily want your children to know about you, they may have things they feel the same about.

Perhaps ignorance really is bliss every now and then.

Breaking the trust

If you get caught snooping, you'll most likely break your child's trust – who knows for how long? 

Some people really voice their deepest thoughts and emotions through writing, or posting things, it can be extremely therapeutic. If they wanted to share these things with you, they would. One of the worst things you could do is invade someone’s thoughts in this way.

So, if you're a serial snooper, consider changing your ways.

Trust is important in any relationship, and if you communicate well with your child, you can trust in them to come to you if they want to share something or have an issue.  

Do you think it's okay to snoop on your kids? Let us know by emailing us at chatback@Parent24.com and we could publish your comments. Do let us know if you'd like to remain anonymous. 

Read more: 

• "Play with me, not your cell phones!": A 7-year-old 'organised' a march against parents on smartphones
• You’re not “just a mom”: Motherhood is like working 2.5 jobs – fact
• 10 Things to never say or do when your child comes out to you

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