‘I’m so broody!’
Nature has the wrong woman if it thinks I’m ready for number two already, says Carrie Linder.
(Getty Images)
It was just like any other day. I was sleep deprived, my top was covered in little flakes of dried Weet-Bix and what I think (hope) was dried snot, and I was trying unsuccessfully to steer a walking one-year-old, a pram and a trolley full of groceries towards a supermarket till point.

That’s when it happened. I spotted a mum holding the teeny, weeniest little bundle of baby I have ever seen. Nothing out of the ordinary right? Right? Wrong! It had the most profound effect on me.

I think I felt… well, it’s difficult to explain…but out of the blue I had the strongest urge to rip out my own Mirena contraceptive coil right there in the supermarket check out queue, drive over to my husband’s office and force him to impregnate me like, yesterday already. I think the word I’m looking for is broody. Oh dear.

Why me! Why! I am not yet out of the sleepless nights and nappy filled days. I still count a trip to the paed as a social outing. I still consider a luke-warm instead of ice-cold-with-a-horrible-film-on-the-top cup of coffee a complete luxury. Surely not me, surely nature has the wrong woman? I am so not ready for baby number two. But apparently my womb is. Damn it.

There is a lot to be said for popping all your kids out in close succession, but then again there is also a lot to be said for sanity. And I’m not sure I can pull off both small age gaps and sound mental health. I’m just not sure.

It’s the lack of sleep that gets to me. Over the last year I’ve discovered that I don’t function that well on less than three hours sleep a night. Who’d have thought? And as it’s only very, very recent that our son sees fit to give us any more than that on any given night. So the thought of another pregnancy, labour and baby is exhausting. And a little bit exciting. But mainly, when thinking with brain instead of uterus, exhausting.

Ok, decision made. I’m going to ignore my glowing uterus and enjoy our precious son and the bit of sleep that’s finally coming our way for as long as I possibly… oooh coochy coo, would you take a look at the teeny tiny toes on that baby! 

Do you get broody at the sight of teeny tiny toes? How big is the perfect gap?

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