Why do you want a child?
To keep your mother quiet, or for your old age? Are your reasons for procreating good ones?
People have children for different reasons and I think the reason why someone chooses to have a child will affect the type of parent that he or she becomes.

Here are some of the reasons that I’ve heard parents give for having children:

‘I love children’

I think this is a noble reason for having kids. People who love kids are likely to be good parents because they’ll make all the sacrifices required to be good parents out of love.

‘The kid was an accident’

I know some parents who became parents not out of choice but because they indulged in activities that resulted in conception of the child.

Some parents are to be commended for embracing ‘forced’ parenthood and giving the child equal opportunities as any other child. Sadly not all such parents are responsible. Some are quick to avoid their responsibilities. Shame on you!

‘Mum wants a grandchild’

Not a very clever reason to have a child because mum won’t be around to care for that baby 24/7. If Mum is always about having a grandchild encourage her to put in some volunteer time at an orphanage. Hopefully that should reduce her cravings for a grandchild.

However if mum is a multimillionaire and is threatening to cut you off her will if you don’t produce a grandchild then it might be best to have one chop chop.

‘This child is my pension’

A risky pension fund! This type of parent is going to push the child to become a money making scheme, with visions of the kid looking after the parents in their old age. Disappointment usually awaits the poor parent.

‘This child will secure our relationship’

We wish this parent the best. How many divorces occur between couples with kids? Plenty. Parents planning to have a child to secure a relationship should fix the relationship first before having the baby.

Only when the relationship is strong will the baby cement relationship.

‘We want to keep the family name alive’

We hope these parents will have children who will get married and adopt their partners’ surnames. That should keep the family name alive for sure.

‘I want companionship’

True that. The parent will have non-stop companionship for at least for 18 years.  Forget about heart-to-heart talk for most of that time though. Of course your ‘companions’ will leave you at some time when they have to build their own nests.

Read more by Sipho Yanano

What were your reasons for wanting to have a child? And can you think of any other not-so-good ones?

Disclaimer: The views of columnists published on Parent24 are their own and therefore do not necessarily represent the views of Parent24.


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