How can I help my brother and father reunite?
Sis Dolly answers some burning questions from our readers.
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Question

I want them to make peace

My dad is about to turn 80 and my brother refuses to come to his birthday. The whole family will be there except him. They’ve been fighting about money for the past five years and now they don’t even speak to each other anymore.

I know they love each other and I worry that my brother may not have many more chances to see his dad again as he’s not well. What can I do to persuade my brother to make peace with our father before it’s too late?

Answer

Family feuds are so complicated because the peacemaker ends up being caught in the middle and is often accused of taking sides. You love your father and brother and it won’t be easy for you to mediate even if you feel like you can.

Talking to your brother hasn’t helped and there’s nothing more you can really do to persuade him to change his mind. He is an adult and is reacting in a manner that he sees fit. Your best option is to try to persuade the two of them to see a family counsellor, who will be impartial and professional and should be able to mediate and assist with a way forward.

You don’t need to be involved in the whole process but you can assist your father to make the initial contact with the counsellor.

According to Psychology Today, owning your perspective allows you the observe what is really bothering you hence you solve the problem directly before even involving other parties. After that, you can deal with the perspective of the other person and then you can finally try to solve the issue or conflict between you and your family member.

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