To K on Mother's Day

To K on Mother’s Day,

I met you without knowing that you’d become part of my life and, because of that, part of my children’s lives. I’m thrilled that you get on with them so well, and that they love having you around, though. I’ve also learned so much from you about what it is to be a parent, after watching you with your three children and two grandchildren. I’d like to honour you as a mom to your kids, and a friend to mine.

It can’t be easy- you aren’t a stepmom, and you’ve moved on from that place of having younger children like mine, and yet, as a pre-school teacher, your insights have been very helpful to me as I look after my children. Here are just a few reasons I appreciate the value you have added to our lives:

Your creativity: When I get stumped for things to do, you seem to have an endless supply of ideas to keep us busy. You have taken part in some of the most fun times of our lives, and you’re always looking for new ways to engage with my children.

Your sensitivity: I get frustrated or just plain angry occasionally, and yet you are able to assess situations and provide suggestions on conflict resolution or effective communication, reminding me to put myself in their positions and, once or twice, just to remember that they’re kids, and kids are allowed to BE kids.

Your girliness: I don’t mean that patronisingly. Your femininity has provided such depth in helping me with my relationship with my daughter. From tying ponytails to reminding me of the differences between sons and daughters, her life has been made better as a result.

Your maturity: You are able to offer advice without being “interfering” on how to juggle co-parenting with my ex. Not only that, but you’ve always been patient and supportive when my children speak of their mom, never selfish. You’ve helped them make presents for her, and you even get on with her personally. Thank you for realizing that this dynamic is important to me.

Your understanding of family: You have a huge complex family, but you have always encouraged me when it comes to being a dad, and you’ve also included me in your family. Thank you for the chaos we have when we’re all together!

Your yellow car: I know that when my kids look back on this period in their lives, some of their most awesome memories will have come from when we all bundle into Little Yellow, your poor, aging car, fight over who “gets to sit behind Karen” and come up with the “best place to visit in the WORLD” (for that day). We’ve each got scrapbooks-full of life-changing memories from those days.

Let the memory-making continue!

I’d like to join all of you in celebrating moms, motherhood, and those who participate in our children’s lives this Mother’s Day. Whether your role is as a mom, nanny, babysitter, caregiver or devoted family member, your love, energy and sacrifices are appreciated.