61 of the worst names parents actually gave their kids
Unsure of what name to settle on for your baby? Here are 61 examples of what not to name them compiled by author and self-professed name-collector extraordinaire, Russell Ash.
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It is quite normal for parents to go through a lengthy process when considering suitable names for their children. 

Yet, even after a proper think and search through baby name books or websites, some parents are still struck with baby name regret. It is described as a "nagging anxiety-inducing feeling" that some parents have admitted to feeling about settling with the wrong name for their kids, even into preschool years.  

So, we're not quite sure what the parents of Earwacker, Bony M and Pube were thinking when they named their little bundles. 

No, these are not cruel nicknames, these are names of real-life people.

In his book, The Book of Unfortunate Baby Names, the self-professed name-collector extraordinaire, Russell Ash, provides a compilation of the most ridiculous names parents actually gave their kids. The author scoured official census records in the US and UK, some as far back as the 16th century. 

The book is a follow-on from Russell's first offering of bad names titled Potty, Fartwell & Knob

Passionate about unfortunate names, the author felt it his duty to provide a self-help book of sorts, by providing proper examples of what not to name your kids. 

For your amusement and just in case you were going to make a bad decision with naming your child, we've compiled the worst of the worst below: 

Just don't 

Worst baby names ever

Aberycusgentylis
Baptized 1648, Buckinghamshire, England 

Ah
Married 1882, London, England 

Alphabeta
Died 1849, Yorkshire, England 

Arse 
Born 1898, Florida, USA 

Burp  
Born 1771, Somerset, England 

Balls
Born 1854, Norfolk, England

Banana 
Born 1919, Lincolnshire, England

Bony M
Born 1892, North Carolina, USA 

Drug 
Born 1847, Alabama, USA 

Earwacker 
Born 1849, Hampshire, England

Flappy
Died 1994, Kentucky, USA

Gassy 
Born 1888, South Carolina, USA

Hairy
Born 1878, Kent, England

One Too Many 
Born 1870, Essex, England

Pube
Born 1904, Nova Scotia, Canada 

Sucker 
Born 1896, North Carolina, USA 

Penis 
Born 1831, Ireland 

Poof 
Born 1859, Iowa, USA 

Wanker 
Born 1856, New York, USA

Always think initials through

Worst baby names ever


A. Blob 
Born 1827, Yorkshire, England 

B. Yond 
Born 1905, Lancashire, England 

E.C. Lay 
Born 1862, Cornwall, England

F. Ingood 
Born 1875, Bedfordshire, England

F. Ewe
Married 1899, London, England 

O. Men 
Born 1870, London. England 

R.U. Ready 
Born 1896, Kansas, USA 

Y. Nott 
Born 1930, Staffordshire, England 


Did you have baby name regret after naming your child? Why? What's the worst name you've heard? Tell us by emailing to chatback@parent24.com and we could publish your letter. Do let us know if you'd like to stay anonymous.  


Unfortunate first name and surname combinations 

Worst baby names ever

Agusta Wind 
Born 1880, Illinois, USA 

Anice Bottom 
Born 1837, Yorkshire, England

Barbie Cue
Born 1819, Scotland 

Dan D. Lyons 
Born 1891, Cardiff, Wales 

Don Key 
Born 1885, Norfolk, England

Elle Vator 
Born 1861, Sussex, England

Etta Lott 
Born 1877, Mississippi, USA 

Fay King 
Born 1922, Kent, England 

Gladys Friday 
Born 1900, England 

Justin Case 
Born 1832, New York, USA

Page Turner 
Born 1865, Devon, England 

Rob Bery
Born 1857, London, England

Sarah Tonin 
Married 1813, London, England 

Tess Tickle 
Born 1893, Arkansas, USA 

Tim Burr
Born 1867, Hertfordshire, England 

Names inspired by cars aren't always a good idea 

Worst baby names ever

Auto 
Born 1883, Alabama, USA 

Caravan 
Born1857, Canada

Datsun 
Born 1858, Virginia, USA

Delorean 
Died 1914, Kentucky, USA 

Frontera
Born 1910, California, USA 

Garage 
Married 1860, England 

Jeep 
Born 1890, Iowa, USA 

Motor
Born 1900, Washington, USA

Turbo 
Born 1880, Puerto Rico 

Just because they look good enough to eat, doesn't mean they should be named after food 

Worst baby names ever

Apple Pie 
Born 1830, Virginia, USA 

Cherry Tart 
Born 1859, Mississippi, USA

Custard 
Born1876, Virginia, USA

Lasagna 
Born 1968, North Carolina, USA 

Mineral Waters 
Born 1893, Essex, England 

Porridge 
Born 1840, Northamptonshire, England 

Quiche 
Born 1900, Ohio, USA 

Salami 
Born 1842, Lincolnshire, England 

Spicy 
Born 1859, Georgia, USA 

Trifle 
Born 1852, Canada

Did you have name regret? What's the worst name on this list? Tell us by emailing to chatback@parent24.com and we could publish your letter. Do let us know if you'd like to stay anonymous.  

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