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Preparing for worse case scenarios is something most expectant parents can relate to, and one mom just took things to a somewhat uncomfortable place, wanting her husband to choose her life (if it came to it) over that of their unborn child's.
"Before going in to the hospital," u/Aithana wrote in a Reddit post that has since gone viral, "I talked with my husband that if something were to happen and he needed to choose between myself and our baby, to please choose me."
But after sharing this with some of her female friends while attending a party, she was shocked by their extreme reactions.
"My friends were disgusted with my thinking and said that I was an asshole to my husband in asking him to basically kill his baby (those were the exact words), that I was a very negative person and that I needed to rethink my thoughts."
Posting to Reddit's AmItheAsshole community (because you know sometimes it's hard to tell when you are the asshole in any given situation) the woman wanted the internet to decide whether or not she had indeed been the asshole.
Officially branded Not the A-hole, u/Aithana's post was met with many others who shared her sentiments:
"You can make another baby; there can't be another you. Also, if your husband agreed, it's none of their business," said one user, another person agreed but suggested the topic was one best suited to the "Some things are just best left unsaid" category.
Speaking from a medical perspective, one poster said: "Medically speaking when things are going so horribly wrong with a pregnancy that the mother is about to die, there is a very strong likelihood of the fetus dying too. There's not a ton you can do to save the fetus inside a dead mother.
"Typically in this kind of situation, there is some intervention that could help the mother (medication, etc.) that isn't proven safe for a fetus. So the decision is either save the mother or do nothing.
"It's not a simple ethics puzzle where you have a separate mother and baby, and you're choosing to shoot one or the other."
Calling BS on Aithana's friends' reaction another poster said: "My husband straight up told me that in this situation, he'd choose me. These are important conversations and important considerations. Also, there's a BS assumption that women are supposed to sacrifice everything to be mothers and honestly f that!"
Others felt a little put off by how casually people viewed the life of an unborn child:
"The baby's life is not her life, though. You are talking about the baby as if it's an object," said one commenter.
"'You can make another baby'. I don't like that sentence; every baby is unique too; they are living beings as well and not worthless, just because they are very young," seconded another.
"'You can make another baby', like it's a cake...or a drawing? That's some pretty casual language for a very serious situation."
Uncomfortable but necessary conversations
Putting things into perfect perspective, one poster said that "As awful as it is to think about, your spouse should know your wishes during these types of situations. It's similar to end of life care, extreme life saving/life preserving measures, etc. in that your next of kin should know what you would want if you are unable to make the decision yourself. These are conversations that are necessary to have, especially when faced with an already difficult pregnancy /birth."
True, it may be a matter of personal opinion no matter which way you look at it, we're at the very least left with one lesson: preparing for the worst case isn't bad, especially when talking pregnancy, labour and birth.
About to give birth and feeling anxious?
If anything, the conversation has thrown some light on the importance of being prepared, and we have a few useful links to share for moms getting ready to deliver:
This is what happens to a baby’s body during birth
Delivering a human baby is risky for mom. But let's not forget that baby goes through the birth process too.
Your A - Z guide to a government hospital birth
If giving birth in a private medical facility is impossible for you, you'll find our guide useful in researching the government hospital option.
'Definitely not the easy way out!' - One reader shares how she came to respect the Caesarian after a traumatic birth experience
At 37 weeks, I had to deliver my son via C-section! I was mortified! This was not the birthing plan I had intended to experience. I felt like a failure, a real big loser that I had not gone natural!"
Birth videos: Beautiful natural birth videos
These women gave birth naturally, on video. Share in their beautiful experiences (Warning: explicit footage).
WATCH: Ooh baby, baby! This family sang Salt-N-Pepa’s Push It in the delivery room... and other top songs to give birth to
After their epic version of Salt-N-Pepa's Push It in the delivery room, this family welcomed their beautiful baby girl, because, it's a thing – birth songs and playlists are real! So from the Frozen soundtrack to Pharrell's Happy, a study just revealed the most popular songs women listen to while giving birth.
5 things you need to know to prepare for your government hospital birth
From official documentation, your rights as a patient and even booking your hospital bed, we get practical about exactly what will be required of you when heading to your local government hospital to give birth.
Natural birth or c-section?
Our readers tell us their reasons for their birth choices.
Babies born at home benefit because of the undisturbed exposure to their mother's bacteria: Study
The "hygiene hypothesis" suggests that we, as humans, need early and frequent exposure to diverse organisms. We tend to restrict this in the first few days of life in the hospital. Is that the right approach?
WATCH: Amy Schumer's re-imagining of what goes on in the delivery room is so accurate we're getting flashbacks watching it
Was the day your little one was born the best day of your life? Or do you too still get flashbacks of everything that went down? Did it go a little something like this?
WATCH: "I witnessed my body take over and a baby be born into my hands": A mom gives birth to her 5th child in a moving car
Just when you think you're familiar with the miracle of birth, this happens! The Swinney family shared their incredible birth video and it's mind-blowing.
Ten-year-old helps aunt deliver baby after watching videos on YouTube
Watching YouTube videos has paid off for 10-year-old Chloe Carrion, whose hours of watching videos helped her deliver her aunt’s baby.
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