How we screw our kids up
Okay, so it’s all my fault, admits single dad Marlon
This week I was introduced to Dr Bruce Lipton via a fascinating and crap-your-pants-scary 2-hour-long DVD. This guy is a bio chemist or something. He’s done extensive research on cells and DNA and RNA and proteins and stuff. He has also written books and given seminars on what he calls “Conscious Parenting.”

The DVD was a lecture he was giving on the subject. But watching it was like watching a scary movie. You know, the kind where you know you should turn it off, but you just can’t bring yourself to do it.

 This guy says that we as parents are influencing our children even before we ejaculate/ovulate. Yup, and he has clever little diagrams and formulas to prove it. Then there’s the time we influence them in the womb, and then immediately after birth, and then again up until age six, and only then does the kid actually begin to develop consciousness as we know it.

The scary part is that we don’t even know that we’re doing it and, yes, it’s happened to us, from our parents also. I know it sounds weird, but he backs this up by demonstrating the way cells function and react to stimuli. And by showing examples of chimps and mice doing the things he is referring to.

Quick example. You know the movie, Shine? Well it’s about a talented pianist whose father was incarcerated in the concentration camps during the war. He was “programmed” by his parents to never stand out from the crowd, as a means of survival, when he was a kid. This blueprint was so entrenched in his psyche that when he played his music and was regaled as the best, he actually had a melt-down and developed a mental illness.

Lipton says we can only reverse what we have learnt from our parents through consciousness, by being aware of what we’ve inherited and consciously trying to change the bad things. And apparently this cannot happen overnight, it has to take place over time.

Now, with respect to Dr Lipton, if I had known all this crap before I had kids, I seriously wonder if I would have had them.

However, right at the end of the DVD he talks about the relationship between love and fear as a growth stimulant or inhibitor, again very challenging stuff. The overriding message that I took from all of this perfectly logical and scientifically exact mumbo jumbo, is that you can’t drive the car with the handbrake on.

Accept your faults and accept that your kids have absorbed all your kak without you even knowing it. And just love them with all your heart. Because the good news is that they absorb all the good about you just as passionately as the scary bits.

Do you think parents take too much blame for their children’s feelings and behaviour?

Read more by Marlon Abrahams.

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