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Not only are your hormones out of sync for a good year, not only does your body change significantly, but losing your independence and becoming responsible for a tiny little being is, well, let’s be honest, “hectic”. Well at least that’s what Nicole Mansour, former 5fm DJ Nicole Fox – who married Lebanese businessman Ramzi Mansour 4 years ago and relocated to Lagos, Nigeria – believes.
How was your experience of giving birth in a new land?
Thankfully, everything was fine. And apart from 3 months of morning sickness in the beginning, I really did have an easy pregnancy. There were absolutely no complications with the pregnancy or the birth in Beirut and my elective caesarean went smoothly. Even though the two nurses in Beirut couldn’t speak English, Deen and I figured out how to breastfeed on our own.
Was there anything you struggled with while pregnant?
The only thing I struggled with physically was quitting smoking and the weight that I then gained. I picked up 30kgs and the extra weight definitely put more strain on my pregnant body. If I’m lucky enough to do this all over again, I’ll definitely watch my weight form the beginning.
You lost your mom shortly before falling pregnant. What impact did this have on you?
A pregnancy and having a baby is the one quintessential moment in a women’s life and a time when she would be bonding with her mom. The pregnancy (and the hormones) brought that loss to the forefront and it was hard.
Did you find pregnancy to be quite an adaption?
Pregnancy and birth was a bit of a shock for me, and I still maintain that pregnancy and the first year of having a baby is the biggest lie ever told. I don’t think enough people are honest about it, and I don’t think enough women tell the truth about how tough it is. I also think a lot of women like to pretend that they’re the best mothers ever known to humankind, for example, announcing to the world that their baby’s slept through at 6 weeks.
It’s tough: suddenly you’re thrown into this world of competition where people compete as to how good they are as a parent or how good their child is. I really struggled to get the truth out of people.
What is your advice for moms to be?
Find what works for you – either demand or routine led – and stick with it. If you feel like you’re not coping and might be suffering from post-natal depression, then seek help. Whether it be a friend where you just need to vent, or your mom or mom-in-law, or a doctor or a psychologist, realise that you can ask for help.
All new parents have days when they don’t know what they’re doing – no matter how many degrees they might hold. I had very daunting days where I questioned everything, wondered if what I was doing was right, and I had a lot of self-doubt. Take it one step at a time. Your baby and you are a team, and you will figure it out together. You will find your groove. You will find your mojo.
To read the full story on Nicole’s pregnancy journey, see the latest issue of Your Baby on shelf 27 February 2013.
Picture source: Hannes Danzfuss
