One big happy step family
If you know your new lover has a child, you’re making the choice to be part of his life.
The new family structures both fascinate and scare me because of all the stories I’ve heard where step-parenting is involved. There are very few heart-warming stories I’ve heard, but such stories do exist.

Some men and women seem likely to accept the idea of being step-parents while dating and when the relationship is permanent, all of that changes. I think this is one of the worst things. It’s a false representation of yourself to your partner and I see it as being cruel especially if you went in knowing that you would be a step-parent.

A woman I know just does not like her stepchild. Now that she is married, she just does not like the child and wants nothing to do with the child. I am left wondering whether she thought that as soon as she got married the child would disappear.

One can just imagine the pain suffered by the father of this poor child because now is stuck in the middle between his wife and his own flesh and blood.

This brings me to the question, is it really possible to love a stepchild as your own and see the child as your own child? Are some people doing it in order to keep the peace and to make their partners happy while pretending to love the child?

In some instances I have seen women opting to take in an ‘outside child’/stepchild so that they can give them a better life - especially in cases where the biological mother is not doing a great parenting job. Sometimes the stepmother might also be trying to minimise the contact between her husband and the biological mother of the child – talk about protecting your territory - which then has nothing to do with the interests of the child.

I am sure the ages of the children can kind of determine how easy or difficult things might be as I am of the opinion that the younger the better.

Surely being a good step-parent might go with the type of person you are but how come we hear of so many horrible family things where stepkids are involved. Some stepchildren mention that as much as they felt loved by the step-parent they never really like they belonged in the family. In some instances they felt like they were being done a favour by or the step-parent would be trying too hard.

It seems like a step-parent can never really win no matter how hard you try. Either you are doing too much or too little? To those parents who have done an excellent job being step-parents, I salute you.

What are the secrets to being an effective step-parent?

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