Without my mom
What do you do when your mom isn’t around to give you advice?
(Diane Cassells)
Growing up, my parents always said they couldn’t wait for the 3 of us to produce grandchildren. Grandchildren, in their view, are the reward you get for surviving your children’s teenage years. Based on my now adult perception of what I put my parents through as a teenager, they probably deserve 14 beautiful grandchildren and a house in the Bahamas.

Sadly though, it didn’t work out that way. My parents passed on before our troop of children have reached adulthood and it hurts sometimes that they’re missing out on their ultimate life reward.

When mom isn’t there to advise you

Our kids are lucky though as they have loving grandparents from other ends of the family chain and a wide range of close family friends. Sometimes though, that gap is blatantly evident to me.

Whenever my daughter turns a year older, I wish for them. When I am uncertain about what I should do when confronted with a parenting dilemma, I wish for them. I wish for them when it’s a quiet Sunday afternoon and we’re all curled up reading or watching a movie. I wish for them at every family event. I wish for them almost every day.

My other ‘moms’

When you’re a mom without your mom, you learn to lean on the maternal advice sources around you. I realise more and more how much I lean on my mom-friends for advice because I cannot call my mom to ask her opinion. When my daughter was a crying infant, sick at 2am, I took to the Internet and parenting forums for advice, as I couldn’t call my own parents – My mom was caring for my ill dad at that time. I lean on the support from my child’s other grandparents and the growing family we have been blessed with.

Being a parent without my parents has become easier as the years have gone by but it’s never far from my mind. For each and every birthday candle, school event and party, they’re in my heart and somewhere in the twinkle of their grandchildren’s eyes.

Is your own mom around to help you with parenting challenges?

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