Missing the boy
When romances end, more than two hearts break.
Friends of mine are in mourning.

The reason? Their daughter has broken up with her boyfriend. She is no longer interested, delighted to be free of the constraints of a relationship. And while she is walking around with a grin they are moping, desolate in their loss. Just when they had adjusted to the fact that This Looks Serious, that said lad was now a regular feature at the dinner table, in front of the TV and at their daughter’s side, he has been given the boot.

I know exactly how it feels, this Where The Hell Did He Go? Syndrome. My eldest’s bloke was a truly nice boy and he had the most excellent taste in roses but then one day she told me, just like that, she had told him it was over. I dabbed at my eyes while she rolled hers. Just who was I supporting here, she, quite rightfully, asked.

I told my husband. He crumpled too. It was the strangest thing for both of us. After all we didn’t want them to be a forever thing, she was only 17 for heaven’s sake and he was her first longer-than-a-month boyfriend!

My sister phoned me from Australia for an explanation re my snot-en-trane email. “Just who broke up with who again?” she demanded to know, as a way of pointing out to me just how ridiculous I sounded.

I had confused even myself. Moi, who had tossed a couple of boys sideways in my time, suddenly became acutely aware of just how my mom had felt as she paddled in the wake of her four daughters’ relationships.

I’ve pondered quite a bit about just why we felt as saddened as we did then as my friends do now. I think it has to do with having loved and lost too, once upon a long time ago. You know how sharp that bewildered pain can be, how he will wake up in the morning with what feels like a mule kick in the chest and there’s not a darn thing that can be done about it. He’d done nothing wrong. He was, quite simply, no longer The One.

All reason says you have to support your child in their decision in such matters and, of course you do. It’s just even though its decades since a teenage heart beat in your chest it feels just like the other day.

Do you feel sad when your children’s romances end?

Read more by Robyn von Geusau

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