Didn’t my mother want me?
Be prepared for questions from your adopted child.
(Getty Images)
Being the parent of an adopted child can become rather daunting. Especially your child is at the age when he or she asks about biological parents.

Truth from the start
It is always important to be honest and frank with the child and let them know from an early age that they were very special and that they are adopted. There is nothing worse than a child hearing from a next door neighbour or a vindictive member of the family that they were the product of some bitter family feud or an unwanted pregnancy. This is a real problem and does happen.  

Get advice
If the child’s questions are ones that you are not comfortable with then it is advisable to go for counselling with a registered adoption counsellor. Some children go through a period of being unwanted or unloved and have a fear of rejection that can carry on with them for the rest of their lives – this problem can manifest into something very serious and become a burden to them for the rest of their lives. This is something that should also not be dealt with lightly but might require some psychological counselling.

Meeting the biologicals
Having to “meet the parents” is probably the scariest scenario of all as you as a parent will be wary of these people either interfering in “your” child’s life. You may fear that you have not done a good job in raising the child or that the child might prefer their biological parents.

You have probably been there since day one and have spent nights cleaning up after ill children, rushed the child to the doctor, watched her take her first steps and been there on their first day of school – that is what makes a parent – anybody can have a baby but not everyone can raise them and love them.

Remember that even in this situation your job is to watch out for your child’s best interests and help them cope with the many emotions they will be processing.

Are you adopted? Did you want to know about your biological parents or meet them?

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