Friends and the boy code
A glimpse into your son’s social life.
When he’s with his buddies, your understanding of how society is organized may take a beating. He is probably following the boy code, which goes like this:
  • Stand up for your buddies no matter what.
  • Actions speak louder than words.
  • Be there when your friends need you.
  • Stay cool no matter what.
  • Teasing is an acceptable way to show affection – just don’t go too far.

Is your home boy-friendly?

If the boys are hanging at your home you have a wonderful opportunity to gently monitor their behavior and spot any problems. Plus, if they’re at your house, they’re not on the street, so don’t be too rigid.
  • Set aside somewhere they can gather comfortably, preferably where you are out of sight.
  • Have plenty of food and drinks that they like and are allowed to snack on.
  • There is stuff that they like to do (pool tables, music, video games).
  • Know your son’s buddies and greet them by name.
  • Don’t criticize him in front of his mates.

Encourage his friendships
  • Involve his friends in some family activities.
  • Get to know his friends’ parents.
  • Praise his acts of friendship openly.
  • Tolerate the loud music and loud voices as much as you can.
  • Don’t object to endless lengthy phone calls and Mxit sessions.
  • Avoid rejecting a friend unless you have very good grounds to do so, for example you caught him red-handed raiding the booze cabinet.

Why girls are good

Having giggling girls around can be nerve-wracking for parents of boys, but vasbyt, friends of the opposite sex serve an important social purpose for your son.
  • Boys do not feel the need to compete with girls.
  • Girls make it safe for a boy to express his feelings.
  • Girls can be powerful allies in social situations.
  • Co-ed friendships de-mystify women.

Be concerned if your son is lonely, does not socialise, does not bring his friends home, or does not have friends of both sexes.

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