How to identify and nurture your child's talent

• Every child is born with a talent and you want to make sure that you nurture that talent in the correct way.
• Avoid pressuring your child into activities that they do not have an interest in. Don't live your dreams through your child!
• See some activities that children can partake in, according to their grade. 

Finding and nurturing child’s talent will finally make for a happier generation. This is your story as much as it is mine – because you’ve all heard it, seen it and lived through it.

At five-year-old Thandi’s birthday, the little girl takes centre stage and she does a cute little ballet number, each pirouette is perfect. While her parents are beaming, the rest of us look morosely at our little ones, obsessed with stuffing confetti balls into their pockets or having a paper plate fight.

After the party, there is a frenzy of exchanging details and phone numbers and soon every little girl is signed up for ballet classes. Our children are our future selves. We see them being the little stars we didn’t quite become. The “average” upbringings we each had, and the non-exposure to opportunities coupled with the sudden affluence that has entered each nuclear household, makes it possible for parents to devote as much money as it takes towards their tot.

Every child has a talent, marketable or not, and at some level, it is our duty to find out that talent and encourage it. That’s what most of us as parents believe.

And that’s where it ends because most of us are unsure of what that talent is and what to do next. And so we plunge our overburdened child into one extracurricular class after another, hoping she will become the next South African idol or a chess grandmaster. Before doing that, here are a few guideline that may just help.

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Identify your child’s passion

Find something she loves, not what she needs. If your child is painfully shy, a common  misconception is that putting him into a crowd will cure it. A mother who has been the school netball champion might be mortified that her daughter prefers chess, for example.

So, the girl is put into a netball camp where she shows no initiative, is largely ignored and feels even more alienated. This begins to feel like punishment to her, not passion. In this case, if you feel your child would benefit from outdoor sports, give her options of individual sports such as squash.

Observe your child at play, Look at your child’s early videos – was exploring corners, scribbling on walls or intrigued by an iPad? Parents tend to overlook young talents in favour of those they themselves think are more “suitable.”

Nancy Katyal, who conducts programmes for children, says that encouraging a child to take up a hobby is the first step. “Watch children enjoy their hobby and you get to learn about their strength, what they prefer, how they socialise and how they see themselves.”

Use the pyramid approach

At first, expose your child to things such as books, encyclopedias and any class she asks to go to. Most cities have neighbourhood activity centres which conduct everything from skating and dancing to puppet-making classes. Do not despair when he takes on something only to leave it later. This is an experimentation stage.

Give it time. Most children need instant gratification, and so as soon as they pick up a football, they expect to Bend it like Beckham. Of course, every talented person has years of practice behind her. And your little genius needs to put in those hours. And when she begins to excel at it and sees her peers’ admiration she’ll begin to really appreciate it. As a rule of thumb, if after five months your child still hates his class, it’s best to let it go.

Do not compare. Do not be led by other parents whose tots go to three versions of mental maths. Do not mope that your child wants to learn how to do judo instead. Trust her instincts and encourage even her smallest efforts. The more a child is supported, the higher the confidence and skill grow.

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Be practical

Is it worth spending two hours of your own time every evening waiting outside your child’s class. Is the child doing more than three extra-curricular activities at a time? Is spending thousand on imported ballet tutus an absolute must?

At a young age, cost, accessibility and convenience should also be a guide for the programme that your child takes part in.

Avoid over-planning. The recent article, “The growing blackless against overparenting” in the Time Magazine warns against parents who are so ambitious for their children that it leads to over-anxious and under-experimenting kids. Hobby or career? This is probably one of the first questions you should ask yourself. Are you terrified that your daughter who loves her clay-dough, will become a porter and not earn the millions you’d want her to?

Whether a talent is going to be a career, or stay an interest, is what determines how much times she will devote to it.

A daughter of a friend discontinued chess class because although she showed promise, her coach said it would take 10 hours of her day if he wanted to be professional.

On the other hand, another friend’s daughter has changed schools to one that will support her swimming camps and be flexible about attendance and marks.

It’s never too late

I have a cousin who, after eight years of working in IT, is taking carpentry classes over the weekends and churning out stunning stuff. Jazz ballet classes have a large percentage of people in their 30s. If a talent has to surface, it will, as long as you don’t hold prejudice which prevents it from showing its face.

Seek help. Many career counsellors can help a child through questionnaires of just talking it through. A child may feel forced into a direction her parents thinks will suit her and begin to believe that that’s what she wants, whereas a counsellor maybe able to unearth her real talent.

Question why: Finally, be aware of your real reasons for encouraging a child’s talent, and its risks. Is this a talent you genuinely see in your child or an ambition you could not fulfill?

Every child has some talent. Some children are sports stars and some are brilliant at getting along with people (marked as one of the top-three skills needed for the future). Finding and nurturing a child’s talent will make for a happier generation.